The Path to Joy

I read these words yesterday and have been thinking about it for a long time:

"No one is ever really happy. The main thing is not being unhappy. Be content and you'll
never be unhappy."

Not always easy, but true I think. Contentment is what I strive for...what is happiness anyway? Hearing my kids laugh, seeing them have fun, laughing at something totally funny, not caring what others think, etc. But that often goes away as soon as someone starts to be a bugger, or things don't go my way (!) Happiness comes and goes, but being content means accepting things as they are, things we can't change (or aren't willing to change) and working with it, moving on...actually creating joy, when it seems there can't be any---difficult, but possible (with the grace of God). I know that lasting joy doesn't come from me...it must be supernatural.

Contentment isn't "settling" I don't think; but "accepting." It's what we need for each stepping stone on the path. Wishing you "contentment" on your journey today, whatever it may be...

Mrs. M Rewards Character

Today was the WA third grade "awards" day. In the past couple of years, I have dreaded that day for my son.

Sam works extremely hard for nine months, accomplishing tasks that I never thought possible for young ones. Some days I wish that I could go back to school at WA and learn like they do...it is truly amazing! As is typical in a lot of private schools, they are one grade ahead; meaning my third grader---who is so smart (like his Dad), but whose distracted brain runs at whirlwind speed, jumping from topic to topic, as he should be focusing on comprehending "cubic volume" and sentence diagrams---is actually doing fourth grade work! He works very hard for his B's and occasional A's.

Yet each year he has endured "awards ceremonies" that primarily focus on the kiddos who have the highest percentages in each subject. While that is definitely commendable, it makes my hard worker come home with tears in his eyes wondering why only the "smart kids" get the certificates. As a mom, I feel like punching someone when this happens; BUT, I gently remind him that he IS one of the smartest people in his class of TEN and that they are all good at different things (and I frequently remind him that he is working a grade ahead...hey, it's true and it makes him feel better!).

Imagine my joy when his superlative 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. M, announced that she felt academic rewards in a corporate setting, at that age, just bring down the achievements of others...and that HER focus would be on recognizing Godly character traits! Yes....I did hug her and tell her she was the most compassionate, thoughtful, and downright smartest lady I've ever encountered! Sam has LOVED her this year and I am so sad that he will move to a new teacher. She understands him, appreciates him for how God made him, yet challenges him, AND most of all, has brightened his outlook on school. She has boosted his self-confidence 100% with her peppy encouragement !

Anyway, I arrived this afternoon and greeted my fellow 3rd grade parents (we've all been together now for 3 years and hope to see all the kids graduate from WA together...kind of like family). Mrs. M announced each child and described the one most fitting character trait that she has observed in them, and paired that with a verse that she wrote out on their certificate. I shed a tear for each little person, as I've gotten to know them and their personality. She chose EXACTLY the trait that fit them...positively and with encouragement. It was absolutely a joyful event----not hearing about who has the highest grades, but about WHO these kids truly are.

Sam's character award? I'm proud to say that his recognition was for his "Respectfulness" (family members don't scoff!). She described his genuine regard for truth and obedience, his consideration and compassion for others, and politeness and respect towards the authority figures in his life. (Yes, I did cry). This fits him perfectly and I am still "wowing" that someone else actually sees into my child's soul and realizes the same inner qualities that I see; those that he was born with....Sam is the way he is because God made him that way.

Today, my guy came home feeling proud, appreciated and loved...no tears! Mrs. M, not only are you giving them knowledge in their minds, but you are also providing wisdom for their souls. Thank you...you are the best!!

The verse on his certificate that describes how he demonstrates respectfulness:

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be

compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with

blessing, because to this you were called, so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9

I survived...now for Summertime!

Finals have been completed, grades posted, client files wrapped up and I have made it through the "green year" of being a Prof. Just as a student feels after that last final, I felt the elation associated with being DONE (for now)! Sitting through Undergraduate commencement, in the faculty garb, was nice being on "the other side"...sitting there already knowing what I'm doing with my life (or halfway ;), unlike some students who are still puzzled with their destiny.

Why title this post "I survived"?? Well, because that's how I feel...that I made it through the jungle alive, without being devoured or struck down and maimed! This year was full of the same struggles faced by the SLP in any setting, just added responsibilities...challenging clients, irate and unreasonable parents in the clinic, a subpoena to court (!) and a few other "odd jobs" that mysteriously made their way into my job description after the fact (like organizing the departmental banquet and presenting at convention?).

The students are another story....I'm still learning how to be flexible, yet firm. Either way, they will complain and I end up feeling incompetent because of their griping. If you are flexible, they question your decisions and say you change your mind too much. If you are firm and no-nonsense, then they say you are too tough, mean and non-caring! Ah...balance. My goal...to earn their respect, that they accept my authority, and that they also realize I care. It will work itself out...now if I could just get people to stop thinking that I'm a student! Even with a suit and heels, I have been mistaken several times for the pupil, rather than the educator :( Maybe if I grew a few inches and didn't smile so much? Maybe I need a more serious look ;)

Despite my hectic schedule, my kids are still thriving and I still love doing what I do; but, not without some sacrifice. The boys detest staying in Aftercare at the end of the school day and I really hate being away from them so many hours in the day.

We made it though...and NOW what? This summer, I have vowed to do nothing but have FUN! Reliving my childhood days, and I don't mean high school and college...I mean WAY back; when all I did was spend the day in my swimsuit, eating Popsicles, digging in the sand, climbing trees, going for long walks, reading and napping. THAT is what I'm going to do all summer with my kids. Oh yeah, and being the Coordinator of Communication Services for the new Autism Center on campus...ONLY on Fridays though (I put my foot down---or my toe anyway. My new mantra "just say no" to more obligations!) Yea summer!

Pictured with me are a couple of my co-workers. These ladies kept me sane!

Too Familiar?

OK, I don't know what to say. I just experienced something that totally threw me off and I don't quite know what to say about it. Tonight, after a productive WA committee meeting with some cool Kindergarten moms, I just couldn't resist some alone time. Knowing that the kids were in bed, with a notebook and pens in my bag, I took a detour to my favorite authentic Mexican food joint to unwind with some spicy food and a Coke.

When I arrived, the usually long line was surprisingly small (just after the dinner rush and before the late-night snackers, I guess). I didn't have to stand in line at all and was greeted by the new guy at the head of the line. I ordered my usual burrito bowl and noticed that he was strangely trying to anticipate what I said for each choice. Finally, after I announced the meat option, he commented,
"Oh right, steak bowl! I'll remember it one of these days."

What!?...busted with my addiction.

"What do you mean?" I probed, "You recognize me?" I started feeling a little freaky at
that moment.

"Oh yeah, there's only a few people I remember and you're one of them," he replied
matter-of-fact.

I stared at the tomato salsa. "I guess I do come in here a lot, and I order the same thing."
He laughed nervously.

I was totally humiliated...the burrito guy practically knows my order!! I was really starting to sweat as I counted and realized that I had been there three times this past week...Oh no, I am a "regular"! Soon, they will call me by name and have my order waiting at the counter when I walk in. They'll greet me and I'll say, "hey Joe...did 'ya remember the guac?" as I toss a tip in the jar. Then, the grill guys will all nod and wave. And after that, the Chicas and I will share a laugh and they'll want to be my Facebook friends...aaaaahhhhhh!!

As I stood there waiting to check out, I avoided looking at anyone and wanted to hide---do they really remember me because I'm here so much...all of them? Am I a burrito bowl junkie?

It wouldn't be so bad, I thought, if the personal trainer at the gym remembered me because I was there so much; but NO, the guy who generously sprinkles on the cheese and slaps on the guacamole...he's the one who recognizes me from behind the food bar :)

I believe I have hit the point of being too familiar with my Chipotle! Perhaps it is time to frequent a new location, driving several miles to get "my fix"....shameful....and super funny!

Ben the Birthday Boy

Can't believe that my baby boy is FOUR---Happy Birthday little Ben!

It doesn't seem that long ago that that he entered the world. He was the biggest baby...nearly 9 pounds! They seemed to get bigger each time. From five months on, Dr. D became tired of seeing me every month...and hearing me complain about how huge I was getting. By eight months, instead of arguing with me, he would just measure my tummy quietly...and two weeks later, he agreed with me that the baby was getting bigger than me! ;) He even began to remark how interesting it was going to be to get this chubby baby out---jokester. By then, he didn't argue at all when I convinced him that the baby refused to come out and insisted on an appointment for induction. Then, what a piece of cake! He should have listened to me sooner.

Unless God has some other freaky plan, Ben is probably the last baby in the tummy. Do I miss that? Sometimes that thought makes me a little sad; but, I think my house is full---3 boisterous and handsome boys, and a beautiful, sassy girl. It's all I can handle...even though the miracle of birth is such a wonderful thing...AND, tiny babies are the sweetest thing on earth.

Happy 4th to my "baby."

Comment of the Day

Ben's constant monologue blab tonight goes like this,

"Hey, what are you doing out of your box?!" (mixed with a few other funny lines).

Uh, too much "Toy Story 2" lately?? A totally cute movie. I'm partial to the classic, Mr. Potato Head. However, I'm starting to feel like a guilty toy who is trying to escape from the playroom every time he tosses the line at me...then I think, "Hey I can get out of my box whenever I want!" Poor toys...controlled by the kids :))

The Gift of the Robin

For the past three years, robins have made their nests in our window ledges. Typically, they have chosen right outside of Sam's bedroom window. This year, she chose my window. I always wonder why they don't select a nice tall tree, or someplace more private. We are quite loud, especially when the boys discover them and are constantly bothering her at the window, with their noses smashed into the glass.



Have you ever fully watched a bird make her nest from start to finish, lay her eggs, sit on them, and have little birdies outside your window, until they are able to fly away? It truly is an interesting and exciting thing to experience---and we have three times! The process really is quite short. She finished her nest last weekend while I napped (I heard her patting mud, twigs, and dried grasses into a bowl shape, which kept me awake). By the end of the week, there were four eggs in the nest---one or two each day. Within another week or so, they will hatch and we will watch her bringing food to them. Within another couple of weeks, they will turn from fuzz to feathers and one-by-one, she will push them from the nest.



Momma robin is quite patient, determined, organized, and plans everything just perfectly. She cares for the birdies carefully, but also runs a "tight-ship"! and soon, boots them out and is on her own again. She does ALL of this within a couple months time. How thankful I am that I get so much more time with my little ones before I "boot them out." Why didn't God make me as efficient as a momma bird? That's why I need more time I guess...surely about 18 years is enough to get these little ones in shape and ready for the world?



As I have watched her each day, I am reminded that my time with my kids is fleeting. They are growing and maturing faster than I will ever become the most proficient or perfect mom---but, I am inspired by the robin! Efficiency, productivity, and nurturing are being modeled for me right outside my window. Even in the storms, she is content as long as her babies are safe and by her side. Ah yes, during those times, productivity ceases and is unimportant. She sits quietly waiting for the storms to pass; she knows that the sun will come out tomorrow and she will again be busy. But for now, she watches the rain and waits....resting and watching over them.

Ahhh...Spring.

Last night I enjoyed a quick stroll through the neighborhood. I refused to let any kids come...hmmm...in fact, I think they were all in bed EARLY! I took the opportunity to escape and what I experienced while I walked to clear my mind, was an overwhelming Spring greeting :)

The air was damp and warm/cool, with a brisk breeze. The smell of freshly cut grass and wet earth was mingled with the sights of bright pastel color in every branch---light green leaf buds; creamy white, lavender and hot pink blossoms. Birds chirped in the distance and lawnmowers hummed into the early evening while it was still light. Every sense was immersed in Spring and I realized again, "yes, spring is definitely my favorite." Only at this time of the year, are we surrounded by the visuals of a fresh start, new beginnings, and blooming life!

My walk was cut short, as the sky started to grumble; and throughout the night I was lulled by the steady stream of water falling from the sky....what a peaceful sound. Today was a day made for sleeping in. Gray, thunder, wetness...the perfect day for cuddling up with a warm drink, a long book, and napping the day away. Unfortunately, that type of day has vanished from my life. The last time I had a day like that was vacationing in San Diego several years ago with no kiddos...ah, serenity!

Happy Birthday, Grayson!

Our sweet North Carolina nephew, Grayson, is SIX today.

Happy Birthday buddy! I hope your Lego party is a super-villan hit!

Isn't this your modeling session pic??? I stole it from your mom's site :)

Love, Aunt Teresa

Viennese Strawberry Cream Cake

Sam's b-day was 3 weeks ago and we just now rounded up the family to get together. Poor kid!

Party planning and organization are really not a strength for me...the kids are lucky if I can pull it all together---cake, people over, food, and gifts---it's overwhelming. Can't we just put a candle in a bowl of ice cream, sing and call it a great day? Just kidding, I do love to make them happy; just stressful for me.

This time was even more frantic, because Sam would not decide on a cake until that day. He was going to go with the old standby "Grandma Muenks' Chocolate Sheet Cake" because he felt sorry for me that I might not have time to create something else. BUT, I knew that he had been analyzing my new 2-inch thick Cake Cookbook, the glossy prints making him drool and dream of sweet treats. He literally sat in the kitchen for an hour, flipping through the pages, reading the ingredients and imagining beautiful cakes, chatting about them as he went---kind of strange, but warmed my heart. How, then, could I settle for chocolate sheet cake?!

So, with 3 hours until guests arrived, I purchased all of the ingredients to prepare the "Viennese Strawberry Cream Cake." The picture looked beautiful and the ingredient list was long (including 2 tablespoons of kirsch, which set me back $12 a bottle for those 2 T.!). Several steps later, I had the sponge cake in the oven and was beginning to puree strawberries for the syrup. It was going well...or so I thought!

My mom arrived just in time to help make the kirsch syrup, which was to soak up in the cake. After a few minutes she heard me wailing that the cake "just doesn't look right." My mom is quite the experienced cook/baker and announced that "no" it didn't look right at all. Instead of a puffy spongecake, I had crepes in the oven!

After I practically threw the pans across the room, my mom jumped into high gear. She knew just what went wrong---too little whipping of the batter and not quite right sequence of steps. Hmmm, "don't over beat" and "don't under beat" which is it?! I was trying to be kind to the eggs and not create a tough cake :)

So, leave it to my mom; she had a new spongecake whipped up in no time, prepared the syrups/gelatin mixtures and arranged the thing. A Mom who can save the day, while the guests are arriving, without batting an eye, is wonderful indeed---I am blessed!

And, so is her grandson...no crepes for his birthday cake. Her creation was delicious!

Above pics...Sam got a new guitar with instructional DVD. He is actually quite good..after a few hours, I could start to hear some strumming that sounded a bit like a song ?!

Happy Birthday Carter!

Our Chicago nephew is "1" Happy birthday little bean!

I couldn't get your picture any bigger! Your Daddy has it fixed I guess!

A big kiss and hug,

Aunt Teresa

Celebrating Our Savior

Happy Resurrection Day!



My bunnies had a hard time being agreeable for pics today. Coordinating clothes and everything, but a few scowls and growls!

Lydia was excited to learn that she, too, had an Easter basket. The boys were hollering about theirs and she was happy to watch. Then they told her to go look in hers "huh? my basket?" EB brought her a beautiful black haired fairy doll. Asian-looking dolls are extremely hard to find; so, it was a must when I saw it.

Birthdays and More Birthdays

In all, we have SEVEN birthdays this month (including both the Pickens and Kemper sides). Add in Easter and Grandparent's Day at WA and we are super busy this month!

I enjoyed my b-day doing some of my favorite things---browsed in an antique shop and a used book store, went out to eat (people watching and chatting over a glass of wine), and ended with a bit of shopping (a new swim suit). Don't think that my whole day was this relaxing though...all of this was after I gave 4 haircuts, did 5 loads of laundry, Jason smoked a brisket, I finalized the taxes, AND arranged the Easter Bunny treats! OH, and made the requested breakfast for my niece and nephew who spent the night...pancakes and bacon! Am I crazy? I did have a nice day celebrating my older age....I make it a habit to forget how old I am, so it is quite nice to have "my day" with no thought to age :)

Ben loves his fat duckie and blankie. He's our only "Linus" child. None of the others would commit to any particular stuffed friend! Duckie even joins Ben at dinner and enjoys being allowed to sleep in Mommy's bed on occasion :)

Lydia is enjoying the birthday celebrations. She loves watching others be happy and is content to be a part of any type of action even if it is not focused on her!

Jack continues to be our serious, yet goofy boy. He had a hard time on Sam's birthday, lamenting that he wasn't getting enough attention! On a birthday, that's a bit unreasonable; but on regular days though, if any child creates guilt in my heart, it is him!

As the "middle" he does get gypped quite a bit, because the personalities and ages of the others require a lot of attention. He is very self-sufficient and can occupy himself, so he does get less "intervention"---needs less correction, more independent. I hate to say, but it does take special effort in making sure he doesn't get overlooked because he's so low-maintenance! He does let us know if he's feeling left-out though...usually an all out blow-up that lasts several hours (which is what happened on the evening of Sam's b-day) :)

An Egg Hunt

We made it over to the Clubhouse for the neighborhood egg hunt. Eggs were found, but no one wanted to get near the Easter Bunny. My kiddos are always wary of huge costumed figures and I don't blame them. It is a bit freakish if you really think about it...the types of things that little ones see in scary dreams!

My baby is 9...Happy Birthday, Sam!

Nine years ago, my sweet first-born came into the world. I hope that I will never forget the moment I first stared into his blinking, curious eyes. It was a moment full of awe and wonder; also a moment of fear, relief, and happiness. What a huge day! The birth of a child is such a miraculous and overwhelming event!

Even today, nine years later, I experience these same emotions as I watch Sam grow up! Awe, in living with him every day...realizing what a wonderful person he is, how intelligent he is, seeing the compassion that flows from his heart, and the craziness that he brings to our home. His impulsiveness, boundless energy and free-thinking is a challenge most days, and brings fear to a mother's heart when I ponder what will become of him if he doesn't learn to harness those qualities that God has given him!

pic...here Sam looks over his new "Magic Eyes" book (visual puzzles).

Tonight we celebrated his birthday at Siki, the local Japanese Steakhouse. I figured that he would choose someplace more common, but wasn't surprised as it was his opportunity to experience some fire! Birthday dinners are getting more pricey, as they are learning to forgo the chicken strips and appreciate the steak and shrimp instead. We're in trouble once they realize the difference between the sirloin and the filet...that will come soon I think :)

pic...Sam holding the plate of pink cakes. I think that he might become a pastry chef (if his inventions don't turn out).

Some pics of our chef entertaining us. Notice the flames jumping out towards the kids? I think Lydia almost got her face singed off. She left with some pink cheeks! The chef made it up to her for scaring the wits out of her with fire, by hooking her up with tiny bits of diced steak and shrimp, and a huge pile of fried rice.

Ben was successful with his "kid chop-sticks" and eagerly ate his plateful of steak... "no rice!" he yelled at the chef. Thankfully the guy was cheerful and was not offended by our verbose child.