Danger Boys In The Country

Well, the boys have survived again! A trip to the country revolving around guns, motorcycles, bonfires, and biking on gravel roads has turned out to be uneventful, despite my constant worry and fear.

I know that with three boys and a fearless toddler, that I might as well get used to the fact that they love anything remotely dangerous, exciting, intriguing, and life-threatening...but I just can't. I spent my weekend just trying to keep everyone alive for one; two, from being maimed; and three, from disappearing into a field!

The older boys are easier to keep track of out there, for sure; but, now they want to do crazier hobbies. I really don't like the gun thing. I have decided that is a battle that I will never win with their Dad, so I just get extra-bossy and turn safety-hound. Jason gets really grumpy about that, but 1) I can't help it, and 2) it is the sensible way to be where fearless, impulsive little boys are concerned.

Here are some pics of them on their Honda 50. They don't get to ride it much because the grassy fields are too tall; but, Grandpa let them ride in the yard this time :) Sam is still a speed demon/daredevil. And Jack...well, let's just say he's a passive participant on the bike. When he was 3 and with training wheels, we used to think that he was falling asleep on it! Jason would yell "Jack turn, turn!" just to keep him focused. Now that he has to balance, steer, and brake without the training wheels, he's more attentive---but, he's not speed crazy like Sam :)

Let the Summer Begin!

Slip 'n Slide, popsicles, and blow-up pool...summer has begun at Grandma's house!

Jack is Given Citizenship Award

Kindergarten also had their awards ceremony last week (while I was in Chicago, no less!). I am SO proud of Jack! He received so many awards, but he and his friend Melody received the highest award given, the Citizenship Award---for outstanding behavior and character! :)

Mrs. C likes to laugh and tell people about the time she called me last October. She sent a note home.."Please call me" No mommy wants to find that in the backpack! But for several days, we couldn't get in touch and I kept wondering what was amiss. Was he just "not getting" the math or his handwriting was too atrocious to move along in Kindergarten? Worse yet, was he a jerk in class or a practical joker? Mrs. C. and I finally connected and I was shocked to hear her say,

"Well, I have never had to call about this before..." uh-oh...

"I was wondering, is Jack okay? He's just so good that I'm wondering if there is something wrong with him. He's TOO good. Is there something I should know about?"

I sighed and laughed at the same time, while assuring her that he can be a complete fool at home and as naughty as the next guy. I don't know if she believed me, but she told us on several occasions that Jack is the best behaved student that she has ever had in 35 years of teaching. I find that a bit hard to believe, but I'll take it! But, maybe she should come over sometime and see his true self!

It is very difficult for him to maintain that status though. One night after a particularly stressful tantrum, I asked him why he was acting so ridiculous. His screaming reply, "Because I'm so good at school!" Poor guy, all of that naughtiness bottled up inside, only to explode at home. Oh well, I can take whatever he dishes out. I'm so proud of you, Jack! I pray that 1st grade is just as successful for you :)

Emma Blue-Eyes is Eight !

My niece in Charlotte has turned "8". Happy Birthday Emma Blue!

Sorry for the late post...hope your slumber party was a big hit! I got your present in Chicago and will give it to you when you are here. AND I hear that you brought doughnuts for birthday treats to school---so did Sam. Super-yum :)

We are looking forward to your LONG visit this summer AND to meeting your new puppy!

Wow, Twenty Years!

It's very hard to believe that it has been 20 years since Jason was in high school. We celebrated at the reunion in our hometown this past weekend with lots of laughs and good ol' friends (some whom we haven't seen in 15+ years). Conversations revolved around old stories, jokes, and friendly jabs about teenager situations or misfortunes from the past. It was great, but interesting what people remember about you :) Lots of talk about tormenting Mr. Carl in art class, cheating in geography (Jason, not me), and LOTS about football/locker room stuff, jokes gone wrong, car wrecks, and some other unmentionables. It was a good time!

Overall, his class is looking pretty good (a few surprises, but that's to be expected). I must say, my hubby was one of the most handsome guys there (even with less hair ;). But, no matter how much people change in looks, or mature in behavior and character, you can still see those unique personalities peeking through. Those characteristics that we remember about our childhood friends will always remain.

As we departed, we knew it would be several years or happenstance before we saw some of these people again; however, there are a few old chums who we have committed to getting together with...look out Oklahoma and the E. farm! Our kids will love visiting you; hope we can get together SOON!

Mom. More Competent Than They Think...

A flashback to Mother's Day, May 10th, which occurred in conjunction with the Kemper Reunion and "Farewell to Ann & Kyle".

And a few thoughts about my motherhood. For me, nothing fantastical typically occurs on the day that the card companies have designed to celebrate my role as a woman with children. This year was no different; however, Sam did make a wonderful clay castle turret in art class that I now have proudly displayed on my dresser, and Jack brought home a folder of creative artwork and handmade cards. These simple, but carefully made items are all I need to fill my heart with joy.

Last night, I served as pitcher to Ben, with his chunky plastic bat and wiffle ball. In between pitches and dodges (trying to avoid line drives at my face), Ben would holler at me that I just didn't know how to pitch---because he often swung wildly, or the wind caught the holey ball and sailed it into his chest. I almost got offended, as he growled at me and tried to instruct me on proper ball throwing using his four year-old logic. I used to play pitcher for little league every summer for almost four years...I know how to pitch! Then I thought, "Do these kids really realize what their Mommy can do?!"

That thought hung with me as I pitched a few more and then swung Lydia. I pondered, "what do my kids really think about me? who am I to them? do they think I can do anything worthwhile?" I really thought about what a mommy is to a little kid. To them, I'm a gal that can make tasty mac-and-cheese and rockin' chocolate chip cookies; I can wipe up blood (and other unmentionable messes) without becoming queasy; can pull out splinters without batting an eye; and am a fairly cozy security pillow when they are scared in the night; and a pretty tough drill sergeant about their schedule/obligations. Other than those basic things, they don't have much of a clue of WHO I really am. This left me thinking, "will they ever?"

That is sort of depressing---a mommy with no identity, but taking care of everyone's basic necessities. Actually, I understand my identity...it's not like I don't have one. But, the people I care about most don't get it; that's the issue. I continued to think about this into the night as I dutifully got p.j.'s, teeth brushed, and fetched endless avoiding-bedtime drinks. Then my thoughts drifted to a few recent occurrences that made me pause and smile, realizing that my children ARE understanding who I am...it just takes time and a bit of cognizant effort on their part.

For example, a couple months ago, the older boys came to work with me. They hung out in my office, did their homework, and watched videos. As the afternoon came to a lull, I offered to test their hearing in the Audiology booth. I described the process and noticed that they seemd unimpressed as I led them to the sound-proof booth. In fact, I think they complained. We completed the hearing test and tympanometry with a few "cool" looks and smiles...and then it came....I said, "Do you want to see inside your ears?" "What!?" they said, wide-eyed. "Sure!" Finally, some oohs and ahhs as I pulled out the video otoscope which allows you to view the ear drum on the computer screen. I described their middle ear anatomy on the screen and they each took a turn, smiling giddily that they could see inside their head (somewhat). We printed out some pics, and then I heard it, "Wow Mom, I didn't know you knew how to do that! Where did you learn that?" I recall giving a matter-of-fact explanation of my training and they practically gawked at me all the way back to my office, with a somewhat proud look that their Mommy looked a bit more accomplished than a Mac-N-Cheese maker.

The next example is not as exciting, but still offers the point. Grandpa was watching the boys shoot baskets one afternoon when I drove up to the house. As I walked up the driveway, I could hear my Dad telling them how I used to shoot baskets all the time and played a lot of basketball. They seemed to doubt it, but Grandpas can be pretty convincing (with a bit of exaggeration) as he explained how "good" I was. Now really, I was not that great...but he's my Dad :)) For the first time ever, my nine year-old ball hog tossed me the ball and invited me to shoot baskets with him. Sure, we've done that before; but usually because I ask for a turn (and I only get one shot). This time, after Grandpas description, he felt that I was competent enough for an invitation. I enjoyed that so much as we took turns taking shots.

So the point? As my kids get older, they are realizing WHO I am. They are more able to think outside of themselves and understand that I had a life before them and continue to do things that they are totally oblivious to---things beyond filling their underwear drawer and spreading peanut butter on slabs of whole-wheat.

The next time my 4 year-old bosses me about pitching, I'll remember that soon, he too, will know that I can shoot some mean hoops, can wrestle with the strongest of them, AND can help him see inside his ear! Until then, I'm content to be his Mommy-slave with "no identity" :))))

An Escape to Michigan Ave.

An Autism certification training has evolved into a nice getaway :) I'm in Chicago for a couple of days. The first words of many, "oh how fun! there's so much to see."

It quickly became apparent on this trip that there was to be nothing to see; just work, work, work at an airport hotel. And, mostly I was right. Much of the time, we've spent working on the Autism Clinic, generating/perfecting documents, corresponding, and phone-conferencing. Last night, to bed at midnight and Jason texted "stop fbing and answer your phone" I responded, "Fbing!? I'm WORKING here!" Does that give you any ideas about this Chicago trip?

Tonight, however, after a phone meeting, the other Theresa and I escaped on the "L" to Michigan Ave for some shopping. Her goal? American Girl for her daughters...mine was just to go along, in case I needed to clobber a mugger or something. Forget my role as the protector, or even the "doll moral support" for that matter. I had NO intention of buying anything in that store. But, in fact, I ended up with a beautiful Am. Girl doll for Lydia and trinkets for my niece's b-day! They have one "Asian" looking baby that can only be purchased in the store....not knowing when I'd be back to Chicago, had to buy it for her birthday. In all, I ended up purchasing almost as much as my friend! Peer pressure?...that's wrong.

After dinner and Mojitos at a street-side restaurant, hailed a cab back to our airport hotel prison! No escape tomorrow....training from 8-4, then to catch a flight at 5:00. Did I sign up for this??!! I don't think so, but I have been getting some nice escapes that includes Univ. paid hotel retreats :) Sitting with music, blog, and books in a quiet room....ahh, peace! Tomorrow, back to my babies and reality....

The Path to Joy

I read these words yesterday and have been thinking about it for a long time:

"No one is ever really happy. The main thing is not being unhappy. Be content and you'll
never be unhappy."

Not always easy, but true I think. Contentment is what I strive for...what is happiness anyway? Hearing my kids laugh, seeing them have fun, laughing at something totally funny, not caring what others think, etc. But that often goes away as soon as someone starts to be a bugger, or things don't go my way (!) Happiness comes and goes, but being content means accepting things as they are, things we can't change (or aren't willing to change) and working with it, moving on...actually creating joy, when it seems there can't be any---difficult, but possible (with the grace of God). I know that lasting joy doesn't come from me...it must be supernatural.

Contentment isn't "settling" I don't think; but "accepting." It's what we need for each stepping stone on the path. Wishing you "contentment" on your journey today, whatever it may be...

Mrs. M Rewards Character

Today was the WA third grade "awards" day. In the past couple of years, I have dreaded that day for my son.

Sam works extremely hard for nine months, accomplishing tasks that I never thought possible for young ones. Some days I wish that I could go back to school at WA and learn like they do...it is truly amazing! As is typical in a lot of private schools, they are one grade ahead; meaning my third grader---who is so smart (like his Dad), but whose distracted brain runs at whirlwind speed, jumping from topic to topic, as he should be focusing on comprehending "cubic volume" and sentence diagrams---is actually doing fourth grade work! He works very hard for his B's and occasional A's.

Yet each year he has endured "awards ceremonies" that primarily focus on the kiddos who have the highest percentages in each subject. While that is definitely commendable, it makes my hard worker come home with tears in his eyes wondering why only the "smart kids" get the certificates. As a mom, I feel like punching someone when this happens; BUT, I gently remind him that he IS one of the smartest people in his class of TEN and that they are all good at different things (and I frequently remind him that he is working a grade ahead...hey, it's true and it makes him feel better!).

Imagine my joy when his superlative 3rd grade teacher, Mrs. M, announced that she felt academic rewards in a corporate setting, at that age, just bring down the achievements of others...and that HER focus would be on recognizing Godly character traits! Yes....I did hug her and tell her she was the most compassionate, thoughtful, and downright smartest lady I've ever encountered! Sam has LOVED her this year and I am so sad that he will move to a new teacher. She understands him, appreciates him for how God made him, yet challenges him, AND most of all, has brightened his outlook on school. She has boosted his self-confidence 100% with her peppy encouragement !

Anyway, I arrived this afternoon and greeted my fellow 3rd grade parents (we've all been together now for 3 years and hope to see all the kids graduate from WA together...kind of like family). Mrs. M announced each child and described the one most fitting character trait that she has observed in them, and paired that with a verse that she wrote out on their certificate. I shed a tear for each little person, as I've gotten to know them and their personality. She chose EXACTLY the trait that fit them...positively and with encouragement. It was absolutely a joyful event----not hearing about who has the highest grades, but about WHO these kids truly are.

Sam's character award? I'm proud to say that his recognition was for his "Respectfulness" (family members don't scoff!). She described his genuine regard for truth and obedience, his consideration and compassion for others, and politeness and respect towards the authority figures in his life. (Yes, I did cry). This fits him perfectly and I am still "wowing" that someone else actually sees into my child's soul and realizes the same inner qualities that I see; those that he was born with....Sam is the way he is because God made him that way.

Today, my guy came home feeling proud, appreciated and loved...no tears! Mrs. M, not only are you giving them knowledge in their minds, but you are also providing wisdom for their souls. Thank you...you are the best!!

The verse on his certificate that describes how he demonstrates respectfulness:

"Finally, all of you, live in harmony with one another; be sympathetic, love as brothers, be

compassionate and humble. Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but with

blessing, because to this you were called, so that you may inherit a blessing." 1 Peter 3:8-9

I survived...now for Summertime!

Finals have been completed, grades posted, client files wrapped up and I have made it through the "green year" of being a Prof. Just as a student feels after that last final, I felt the elation associated with being DONE (for now)! Sitting through Undergraduate commencement, in the faculty garb, was nice being on "the other side"...sitting there already knowing what I'm doing with my life (or halfway ;), unlike some students who are still puzzled with their destiny.

Why title this post "I survived"?? Well, because that's how I feel...that I made it through the jungle alive, without being devoured or struck down and maimed! This year was full of the same struggles faced by the SLP in any setting, just added responsibilities...challenging clients, irate and unreasonable parents in the clinic, a subpoena to court (!) and a few other "odd jobs" that mysteriously made their way into my job description after the fact (like organizing the departmental banquet and presenting at convention?).

The students are another story....I'm still learning how to be flexible, yet firm. Either way, they will complain and I end up feeling incompetent because of their griping. If you are flexible, they question your decisions and say you change your mind too much. If you are firm and no-nonsense, then they say you are too tough, mean and non-caring! Ah...balance. My goal...to earn their respect, that they accept my authority, and that they also realize I care. It will work itself out...now if I could just get people to stop thinking that I'm a student! Even with a suit and heels, I have been mistaken several times for the pupil, rather than the educator :( Maybe if I grew a few inches and didn't smile so much? Maybe I need a more serious look ;)

Despite my hectic schedule, my kids are still thriving and I still love doing what I do; but, not without some sacrifice. The boys detest staying in Aftercare at the end of the school day and I really hate being away from them so many hours in the day.

We made it though...and NOW what? This summer, I have vowed to do nothing but have FUN! Reliving my childhood days, and I don't mean high school and college...I mean WAY back; when all I did was spend the day in my swimsuit, eating Popsicles, digging in the sand, climbing trees, going for long walks, reading and napping. THAT is what I'm going to do all summer with my kids. Oh yeah, and being the Coordinator of Communication Services for the new Autism Center on campus...ONLY on Fridays though (I put my foot down---or my toe anyway. My new mantra "just say no" to more obligations!) Yea summer!

Pictured with me are a couple of my co-workers. These ladies kept me sane!

Too Familiar?

OK, I don't know what to say. I just experienced something that totally threw me off and I don't quite know what to say about it. Tonight, after a productive WA committee meeting with some cool Kindergarten moms, I just couldn't resist some alone time. Knowing that the kids were in bed, with a notebook and pens in my bag, I took a detour to my favorite authentic Mexican food joint to unwind with some spicy food and a Coke.

When I arrived, the usually long line was surprisingly small (just after the dinner rush and before the late-night snackers, I guess). I didn't have to stand in line at all and was greeted by the new guy at the head of the line. I ordered my usual burrito bowl and noticed that he was strangely trying to anticipate what I said for each choice. Finally, after I announced the meat option, he commented,
"Oh right, steak bowl! I'll remember it one of these days."

What!?...busted with my addiction.

"What do you mean?" I probed, "You recognize me?" I started feeling a little freaky at
that moment.

"Oh yeah, there's only a few people I remember and you're one of them," he replied
matter-of-fact.

I stared at the tomato salsa. "I guess I do come in here a lot, and I order the same thing."
He laughed nervously.

I was totally humiliated...the burrito guy practically knows my order!! I was really starting to sweat as I counted and realized that I had been there three times this past week...Oh no, I am a "regular"! Soon, they will call me by name and have my order waiting at the counter when I walk in. They'll greet me and I'll say, "hey Joe...did 'ya remember the guac?" as I toss a tip in the jar. Then, the grill guys will all nod and wave. And after that, the Chicas and I will share a laugh and they'll want to be my Facebook friends...aaaaahhhhhh!!

As I stood there waiting to check out, I avoided looking at anyone and wanted to hide---do they really remember me because I'm here so much...all of them? Am I a burrito bowl junkie?

It wouldn't be so bad, I thought, if the personal trainer at the gym remembered me because I was there so much; but NO, the guy who generously sprinkles on the cheese and slaps on the guacamole...he's the one who recognizes me from behind the food bar :)

I believe I have hit the point of being too familiar with my Chipotle! Perhaps it is time to frequent a new location, driving several miles to get "my fix"....shameful....and super funny!

Ben the Birthday Boy

Can't believe that my baby boy is FOUR---Happy Birthday little Ben!

It doesn't seem that long ago that that he entered the world. He was the biggest baby...nearly 9 pounds! They seemed to get bigger each time. From five months on, Dr. D became tired of seeing me every month...and hearing me complain about how huge I was getting. By eight months, instead of arguing with me, he would just measure my tummy quietly...and two weeks later, he agreed with me that the baby was getting bigger than me! ;) He even began to remark how interesting it was going to be to get this chubby baby out---jokester. By then, he didn't argue at all when I convinced him that the baby refused to come out and insisted on an appointment for induction. Then, what a piece of cake! He should have listened to me sooner.

Unless God has some other freaky plan, Ben is probably the last baby in the tummy. Do I miss that? Sometimes that thought makes me a little sad; but, I think my house is full---3 boisterous and handsome boys, and a beautiful, sassy girl. It's all I can handle...even though the miracle of birth is such a wonderful thing...AND, tiny babies are the sweetest thing on earth.

Happy 4th to my "baby."