A Little Girl Makes Five

The first pic I saw of Vivian...I fell in love with her quiet, sweet spirit.  Oct, 2012

For the past 14 months, I have been able to say "I have 5 kids"!  I find that statement very shocking and scary, but also quite exciting and humbling.  Children are such a gift and I do not feel worthy to have this gift five times over.  I never imagined that we would be on the journey of adoption again, but here we are!  

Over the past months, we have waited (impatiently) for the arrival of our fifth child.  The entire time, I should have been putting the process into journal form.  But along with this process has been so much heartache, struggle, and frustration that I just did not want to put out into words.  I believe that words are energy and putting negative words out there draws negativity all around you.  If you want to attract positive things into your life, one must be willing and intent to see the world in a positive way, and put out loving and kind thoughts/words.  This has been such a challenge for me in 2013.  But, I have purposed to work on transforming my mind into more positive thinking patterns and surround myself with a higher energy.  This is SUPER hard, but what I have found to be most helpful, is to avoid as much negativity as possible.  With that in mind....because much of this adoption process has been one frustration and struggle after another, I could not bear to write such negativity into this blog and put that out into the minds of others that read it.  

One of the first pics we saw of Vivian, Oct 2012

So, here is a post of the wonderful loving outcome that has resulted from this struggle....that a little girl will no longer be an orphan, that she will no longer suffer loneliness and have an empty Mommy-hole in her heart, that she will receive the medical care that she needs to thrive, and that she will be given the ideas and tools she needs to fulfill her life purpose.  For me, it means...that a Mommy is able to give her daughter a little sister to love, that she can give her kids an example of how to love and take care of people, and that she sees in her husband a man who is willing to do things that are way outside of his comfort zone just because he loves her.  

Vivian playing with her friends, March 2013

Now begins the chronicle of the positives that have now arrived...

Miss Vivian Gwen Caifang 

will be in my arms one week from tomorrow!  

This little one captured my heart over a year ago, and finally we are able to bring her home.  The wait has been long; knowing that your child is somewhere on the other side of the Earth without your guidance and protection is so difficult.  But, just like the last adoption, I am forced to rely on divine trust and faith.  When in this position, that's really all you have to keep from being sad all the time. One more week...God, keep her safe and strong until we get there...prepare her heart for the trauma of being pulled from her familiar surroundings...fill me with patience and love to help heal her heart.  Most of all, help her to love me and to accept my love....it seems such a simple thing, but for a 3 year-old orphan, it is often a scary painful journey.

July, 2013

Getting Techie

Posting from the phone! Great for our upcoming trip to bring home sweet Vivian.  I haven't updated the blog in nearly 2 years.  I guess it's time to get life chronicled again.  Hoping to rid myself of the anxiety and pressure to post things consistently, and instead just enjoy the writing process.