If I ever say that I am bored, someone please slap me...okay? The one thing that it will NEVER be, in my home, is boring. We seem to attract drama and excitement as if it were being reserved totally for us. Tonight was no exception. Let's start by saying that the LS police just left...again! This time, super friendly and eager to help. Very polite and BRAVE, I might add.
Before I explain their assignment at the Kemper home tonight, I will add the prelude of Easter/Spring trauma that had just occured in our yard. After a long and exhausting day of transporting mini-Kempers all over the city and meeting with professionals aimed at alleviating my stresses, we came home to fetch Katie before the next minivan run, only to find that she had used a baby bunny (or several) as tennis balls....tossing them up and down, playing fetch, ripping them to shreds, etc., as my mortified children looked on.
Somehow, I managed to convince them that the bunnies must have already been deceased before Katie found them and that then they were fair game (literally). We traveled on, to retrieve the next Kemper kid...
Nearly 6:00, we were home...ready to begin the dinner and bedtime ritual so that this tired Mommy could have some peace and quiet. But no! No peace for the diligent Mom. Arrival at home was the next doozy. I pulled up to the drive, expecting to retrieve my mail as usual. Opened the mailbox (which has been bashed in on the side by punks, btw) and stuck my hand in.....whoa! Wait a minute...What is that nicely placed on my medical bills, junk flyers, and birthday greetings? Is that a fuse? Is that an explosive-looking thing? Why, yes! Yes it is. Remove the hand and gently close the door....I calmly pull into the driveway and say, "Well kids, dinner will have to wait...take the dog out and go in the house. I need to call the police."
Then all chaos hits, "The police!? Why mom? What's in the mailbox?! A dead rabbit?" Me (with that sweet mommy voice): "No children, no dead bunnies in the mailbox (smile)...only explosives!!!!" Then lots of excitement, speculation, and fantasy.
I must say, my LS PD were very attentive and eager to help when I informed them that something strange was in my mailbox...I could almost SEE the guy on the other end of the phone...he slammed down his Diet Coke, grabbed his pen, sat up straighter in his seat, and furiously began taking down details. Wow some real action! I did make it clear that they appeared to look like fireworks; however, I wasn't taking any chances. Just for the reader to know--I DID consider touching it, just to see what would happen (I tend to be like that); but I refrained as I imagined headlines quoting that a mother's face was blown off as she couldn't resist touching the mystery bomb in her mailbox.
Anyway, two very nice officers arrived soon to get the scoop...I did notice that they parked down the street (just in case?). As soon as I described the contents of my mailbox, p.o. #1 announced that he must call in someone else (the bomb squad!?) I was imagining the headlines. They gathered details and took on the "this is serious" look and voice (they must be taught that in training) "Stay in your house ma'am, until I give the all clear." um...okay, I already opened the box, closed it, but now I'm secured in front of my dining room window...check!
After a few minutes, I saw the two guys digging into the mailbox! They must have been like me, and couldn't resist to see what it was. And, it was as I had described to them....two bottle rockets, laying nicely in an X pattern on a square package that appeared to be firecrackers....but one never knows.
They came back a few minutes later..."Whoa, that's a big dog..." and handed me my mail. "You couldn't help looking in there, could you?" I said. They smiled nervously, like two little boys who were itching for some excitement...and were disappointed that they found none. In the future, please know, that when you describe "no liquids and no wires" that is a clear indicator that you probably have fireworks in your mailbox instead of bomb :) They assured me that I did the right thing in calling them out...I was happy to give them some measly excitement for the evening.
As I closed the door, I breathed a sigh of relief. My kids hadn't caused the police to come, and we were all safe. I loved on Katie for putting on a good "watchdog" show for the PD (and not making an utter fool of herself with senseless barking), while thinking that the momentum of the structured evening was totally ruined. Katie replied with a huge kiss...right on my mouth. Immediately though, all warm and fuzzy feelings ceased, when I realized that a clump of bunny fuzz was clinging to her lip! Nice....No, never boring around here...survived another day in fact.
