Back At The Hotel: Waiting For the Dream to End..

Hesitantly looking at the photo album I made for her.

Throughout the rest of our first day together, I kept trying to place myself in her mind, imagining what she was thinking.  What kept coming back to me over and over, was the thought that she must be wondering when this little dream would end.  She must at some level, think "this is great...it's been fun, you all are sweet, but I'll be going back soon".

No problem taking the food we offered 

This whole afternoon, she seemed to be trying to act brave, like a big girl.  She rejected the bottle, the sippy cup, and the little baby spoon.  Instead, watched Lydia very intently and tried to imitate everything she did.  She watched Lydia eating with a fork and reached out for the utensils rather than the little plastic spoon.  As they colored, if Lydia used tiny markings, so did she. If Lydia used large sweeping strokes, so did she.  She took every cracker and treat we offered, and ate dinner like a large horse!  She seemed so very intent on pleasing us and going with everything we did (I wonder if the nanny told her to do that?)

Our guide advised us to just hang out the rest of the day, but as I'm not one who likes to do what I'm told, I just couldn't sit around, so we walked to a nearby park (nearly risking our lives at all intersections and even in the parking lot).  Pedestrians are definitely brave here, because they certainly don't have any kind of right-of-way...in fact, I don't think anyone does.  It seems like a free-for-all to me.  Even if you have little ones walking beside you, silent electric scooters whiz right by them on the sidewalk by the dozens.  We decided the safest option was to cross the street when a group does...walking across with a posse of slow old men seems like a good bet to me!  The park was nice and she toddled along so sweetly with her new little tiger....she grabs him tightly by the arm and totes him along with him dragging by her side...it is the sweetest thing ever!

Poor little thing was so dirty.  Bath right away!  She wasn't happy, but it was so needed...there was visible dirt in the tub after we were done scrubbing her. 

The warmest, gentlest, most thorough bath she's ever had, I'm sure

Surrounded by all her toys...she LOVED the plastic bracelets and knew exactly how to slip them on.  Yay! Definitely my girl..she loves jewelry!

Napping with Momma

Not sure that she has ever been touched or held by a man before and sadly, this is how she feels about Daddy right now...afraid :( 

Sweetest thing!  This is what we picked for her to wear today....after returning from the park, I removed her little jacket, hat, and bunny boots.  She looked longingly at them, I think wondering if she would get them back.  I just can't imagine how it would feel to have no personal possessions.

Going to the park!  Dragging along her little tiger.  She's so smart...if she accidentally dropped him along the way, she would tug my hand and point back, letting me know something was amiss...sweet, smart girl.

fish tanks at the park

Daddy's Girls...She let me step away just long enough to snap the pic.  If I'm not near, her little face will scrunch up and she lets out the saddest cry you've ever heard.  In the hotel room, she will also plop down on her bottom and puff her little lip out if J or Lydia try to get too close.  Hope that she lets them in soon

Inside the "bamboo forest"

Coloring with sister

Is that for me?  Gotcha Day cakes

As a Gotcha Day treat, we ate in a restaurant with a glass floor where water and little goldfish rippled by underneath.  It was fun for the girls to watch....again it looked like the waiters were doing "rock, paper, scissors" to see who had to serve us and use their attempts at English.  I felt sorry for the loser of that game...we actually saw his friends watching him, laughing, from around the corner as he struggled to understand us.  Even our little requests written in Chinese by our guide were confusing to him.   Instead of just bringing what we pointed to, he thought he needed to bring everything on our little cheat sheet.  It was hard to tell him differently...poor young man! 

Afterwards, we splurged at the hotel bakery for some pretty pastries for the girls to share a Gotcha cake (well, also for Daddy...he wanted some yummy-looking chocolate confection too).  

In all, a wonderful, overwhelming, and emotional day.  Vivian is doing great!  She is so afraid of the western potty, but we'll get it figured out.  Also, she won't drink anything I offer, from any kind of container.  Again, I'll figure it out.  I know she feels that is one of the things she can control at this time, so turns her head away. So be it...have some control little missy....it's been a long time coming.  Now, you get to make some little decisions in your life. Choices are fun!  

As she fell asleep tonight, I wondered what she will dream about.  Whatever it is, when she wakes up, I hope she knows that this is no dream; it is her new life! 

I feel badly that I didn't get to send her a birthday cake to the orphanage in April.  I could have hired someone here to do it, but because we are advised not to, I didn't.  For once, I followed the rules, and I regret it.  I have seen family pics of other little ones in the orphanage, even with my baby standing nearby....probably wondering why she didn't have a special cake.  Here is your first cake little one....the first of many!  Strawberry cream cake..yum!