Never Say Never...Our Pup Katie

Many think that we have lost the very last shred of rational thought around here....maybe they are right. Despite all logic and reasoning, we now have a wonderfully intelligent, beautiful, and sturdily bred German Shepherd Dog to add to our clan.

Announcing...Katie Vom Waldenhaus, puppy extraordinaire!

I am a firm believer in the phrase "Never say never..." The exact circumstances that one swears will never occur, or actions that they swear they will never take...often do in fact happen, exactly as said! This happens around here all the time anyway. And this time is no different. Jason was adamant that we would never have a dog (or any other breathing thing) around here...no fur, no drool, no messes in the backyard, none of that.

For the past year, the boys have been pleading for a doggie of their own. Now, we are typically not real animal lovers around here. I can't stand it when someones dog jumps on me, leaves fur on my clothes, or slobbers on my arm. Jason used to laugh when he saw some schmuck walking their dog in 20 degree temps or in the pouring rain. And I was convinced that the chaos of 4 children flying around here was definitely enough for any house, let alone adding a four-legged furball.

But then I started feeling sorry for the boys, and also feeling that their childhood would be incomplete without some sort of pet. Well, at some precise moment in time (I'm not sure what happens) some strange transformation takes place in one's mind. In that split second, you actually forget anything that you've ever thought before and you convince yourself that your NEW thought is exactly what you should do...of course! In this case, all it took was timing...just wait for the perfect moment (in this case, a theft from our driveway), put a plug in for a dog, and convince Jason that it was his idea :) It worked! "Well, we won't have a dog unless it's a German Shepherd. I won't have some tiny fluff ball, wimpy dog," he says. "Fine, " I say and begin Googling breeders. After much obsessive research on his part, and a hunch on my part, in less than 5 days, we had a pup in our house :)

Actually, to be fair, there was a bit more discussion than that. And planning...."Our dog will be brilliant! (him) Our dog will be beautiful! (me) Our dog will be obedient! (him) Our dog will protect us! (me) Our dog will hunt! (him) Our dog will love kids! (me)"

In the end, we found all of this in our GS...she has lovely markings, very smart, and HUGE. She is 3 months old and after only 3 weeks, I can barely carry her now and her paws are nearly as big as my hands!

Do I mind the fur and the slobber? What about the mess and extra work of a pup? Actually, it's just like your own kids...you don't mind the drool and mess if it is your own. She is learning the rules of the house (like not eating the boys' school papers) and can learn a trick with only one teaching (Frisbee!)...super smart. Katie is a keeper!

So, now my kids have a dog. And what do I get out of this? Actually, I have motives as well. My goal is to train her to run with me, so that I won't be afraid to run/walk at night AND to have her guard the house while we sleep. When a 110 pound dog has "got your back", you feel pretty confident and every great mama needs a bit of assistance in watching over her babies :)

First Day of School

Unbelievably, school is back in full swing! The past two years I have really avoided the thought of school starting, thinking that maybe if I don't acknowledge it, summer won't end? Illogical, I know. But it makes me feel more in control, until I realize that...ugh, everyone needs haircuts, new uniforms, crazily expensive shoes, something nutritious and exciting for lunch....and WHAT? all that needs to happen in 2 days?! Oops, guess I should stop procrastinating and face the inevitable.

We did manage to get all of that done, as usual. And the boys made it to class on time and looking fairly spiffy.

Sam is excited to be in 4th grade. This is the year he will begin Latin and the Progymnasmata (writing instruction). So far, he's doing well----memorization and language are his strength, so the Latin vocab (with gender), and verb endings are no sweat and his first attempt at writing fable has been tear-free :) Maybe he will be my multilingual or writing child?

Jack is loving 1st grade and he got one of our fav. teachers. She is sure tough and keeps them SUPER busy throughout the day, but she is fun and consistent. Jack is our math whiz and can whip out fact sheets in seconds and problem-solve in his head. Although he knows how to read, he avoids it (acting like he doesn't know how). And, I think that he has already been put in the lower reading group...annoying! He is definitely not the "language lover" that Sam is.

Although we are off to a good start, we have been delayed....by the second week of school, the flu has kept them home for ONE whole week! I am quite certain that it is H1N1 virus btw, because it has lasted forever in our typically hardy kids---news reports say that they are no longer calculating the cases, nor testing for it, and that if you have the flu, it is 99% likely to be "swine." So much for the hysteria...just recover and move on.

With this curriculum, any missed day creates much work to be finished at home, not to mention five days worth (which in my opinion, is torture for a parent)! The pile of books and papers is amazing. So, our strategy? Jason promised that if they were diligent in finishing it ALL, he would whisk them to Grandma's to play the Wii for 3 days over the holiday weekend. It worked! I've never seen them so focused or work so fast, especially with SO much to do!

The stack of missed work is complete. They are getting their game fix. And now I am left sitting in bed with chills and fever, spending my holiday coaxing Lydia into yet another nap (I think we slept a total of 5 hours this afternoon) :)

Where Did The Summer Go?

There are so many cliques to express how quickly life passes before us....and even sayings to help us remember to enjoy the present. "Time flies!" or "like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives" or "stop and smell the roses." However you choose to say it, really no words can express the helpless feeling one experiences as time slips through your fingers, never to be reclaimed. How quickly it gets away from us, needing to be savored and enjoyed!

I am frustrated nearly every day, that I cannot DO something about the passage of time. Maybe it's my control-freakishness, the micro-manager in me, or perhaps my desire to get my own way, but it annoys me that the clock continues to tick, when I wish to pause the hands and sit to reflect on what is happening around me. I tend to have a busy mind that whirls at cyclone speed. It doesn't take a rest until it either 1) crashes, or 2) is harnessed with extreme effort and forced to cooperate on a task. My mind would rather travel into thoughts of the past or the future, instead of focusing on what is important...the present!

So, once again I am saying to myself...where did the past few months go? It now seems a blur of activity in my mind. Thankfully, someone invented a way for us to capture our moments on film so that the images aren't lost forever (or more likely, distorted) in the abyss called the mind.

FINALLY, I am forcing myself to slow down and review the fun we had this summer. Twas not all fun and games; but as I look at these images I am reminded that a mom's exhaustion equals a child's fun and is the way to create happy memories, rather than a dull recollection of dreary chores and constant work. Bottom line...we did have fun this summer! Sometimes it took lots of effort to have a joyful spirit, but we did a lot (which was a goal), I spent nearly every moment with my munchkins (which was another goal), and I spent a lot of time reflecting and rejuvenating so that I can press on (which was the ultimate goal of the summer) :))

Pics...Jack really liked his art class at the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum. He has his Dad's talent for creativity and artistic abilities (and the patience to create). He made some great sculptures and paintings and we are waiting to see if his project will be put on display at the Museum.

While he had class, the other three and I had to find ways to entertain ourselves at the Plaza...not too difficult (when everyone is cooperating). A few things we discovered 1) you can walk from the Art Museum to the McDonald's on the Plaza, have a Coke and an ice cream and walk back with tons of time to spare (with breaks by the fountains too), 2) it is fun to picnic under the gigantic Badminton birdie sculptures that rest on the lawn, 3) the Kaufman Memorial Garden is an extremely beautiful, peaceful, and solitary place to whittle away the hours nearby(the kids loved the fountains and shoots of water that chased them through the foliage...I loved the thought of returning there without any kids to sit in peace).

http://www.powellgardens.org/default.asp?page=KauffmanMap#VisitorInfo

July also offered a camping trip with Anika's and Andrea's families...lots of work, but fun! Camping and floating with 9 kids is a challenge, but we made it! Here Emma and Jack enjoy their S'mores.

This pic is a rarity for sure...all four sound asleep, and in the middle of the day! The floating and camping exhausted us all. The six man tent that Jason got was a hit...I enjoyed the cabin with my sisters (except we got stuck with the 2 year-olds as usual).

The float was really nice..I've never gone on a float trip believe it or not. It was beautiful and peaceful. Sam was my canoe partner most of the way, and I must say....that boy can paddle! He looked like Merriweather Lewis (or maybe what's-his-name Clark) at the front of our canoe scouting for wildlife or examining the terrain, with his paddle slowly, but steadily, dipping into the quiet water...a very quaint scene from the back of the boat. He was surprised that his momma could maneuver us out of some swift current and actually was impressed by my amateur canoeing skills.

No summer is complete without a trip to Fritz's Railroad Restaurant, where the food is questionable, but the atmosphere is fascinating and helps you overcome the doubts in your mind about what you are putting in your mouth! As usual, the boys loved to watch the trains deliver their food and were all smiles for an entire hour. Afterwards, we headed to the chaos in Kaleidoscope, where we tried to do some art amidst the hundreds of kids in there :)

We also made it to the Lego exhibit in Crown Center, where there were fabulous displays of some guy's Lego art. The kids built with bricks and we marveled at the creations. Lydia almost pushed over a display that was a 7-foot tall pencil made of thousands of Lego's...thus, time to exit before disaster!

Upstairs we found a sweet Chinese lady who has a shop of imported Chinese tea (directly from their family farm in north-central China, she informed me) and jade jewelry. She and Lydia chatted about their Chinese names while I scoped out a cool Jade medallion....again, time to leave when the boys started wrestling around the displays of necklaces and teapots (images of bright green shards of broken jade and shattered Terra Cotta pots on the floor prompts one to leave in a hurry!)

One final destination in the last couple of weeks of July, was our trip to Science City and the Narnia exhibit at Union Station....I really love that place. Science City is somewhat lame once you've been there before, but I could sit in the old train station forever, staring up at that beautiful ceiling and imagining the place packed with the bustle of travelers lugging their bags several decades ago. So much history floats around in there that you can almost feel that energy embedded in the tiles and spiraling through the dome and archways. We enjoyed a little greasy lunch in the diner (also with grand tall ceilings and oozing with a past). The Narnia exhibit was awesome (no pics allowed) and left us with a feeling that we had actually met Aslan the Lion and talked with Peter and Lucy :)))

Overall, July was packed and filled with fun...I won't discuss here the trials and traumas...as that is the type of junk that should be pondered and then dismissed (or shoved) to the deep corners of the gray matter....so what remains? The happy images of my kids laughing, creating, imagining, pondering, and learning; and THAT, my friends is what we did this summer.

The Value of Earning Money...Not Just a Handout

Today I smiled as I handed each older boy $21. Why would I smile at that? Well, they are slowly, but clearly, starting to learn the value (and payoff) of hard work. And I'm beginning to learn that they are VERY capable!

I am kind of against "allowance." That may sound stingy, or mean, or whatever....but the idea of just handing someone money, without making them lift a finger just doesn't sit right. Even a toddler can pick up toys off the floor to earn a few cents--it's not hard. So, why reward a child with money for doing nothing? There are some things in our house that are just expected; throw your stinky clothes down the laundry chute (no, you don't get money for that), put your soggy cereal bowl in the sink (again, no, you don't get cash). Now, however, the boys are getting quite capable of helping around the house...doing things that I consider "extra work." The type of thing that goes above and beyond daily living. And I will gladly pay them to do it, because that takes the work-load off of me!

I am happy to say that I now have a CLEAN white vinyl fence! When we installed that type of fencing, I knew that it would require some kind of maintenance (nothing is truly maintenance-free). It has been nearly five years and has never been scrubbed....SO, I offered the boys $1 per panel to scrub it. Sam quickly counted all of the panels and calculated that if they worked together, they would EACH have $21! THIS deal was worth it to them, as they now have "optional desirables" that they wish to purchase.

The chore was put off for awhile, but one evening Jason had them set up with soapy water and scrub brushes. After the first panel, they whined, they complained, they belly-ached. They even ditched the project for the evening. But that night, I heard them in bed planning and scheming what to do with their tons of money. By the next morning, they were refreshed and set to work scrubbing the ENTIRE fenced-off backyard---42, four-foot panels! That's ALOT of fence! They stayed out there all morning, scrubbing away, eventually finding a rhythm and easier way of accomplishing the chore. It was really neat to watch them work so hard, like 2 little Tom Sawyers painting the fence....all because they wanted to EARN that money.

The fence is clean (and maybe not as good as we adults could have done); but nonetheless, the chore was complete from beginning to end and the $42 was gladly handed over. Yea, new workers around my house! And, they are learning the value and rewards of hard work...no work, no pay :) Last night they grilled the burgers from start to finish...no pay, BUT they are proud that they can finally help out with adult-type tasks. This is going to be nice for a weary momma :)))

Now, wonder how much $$ will motivate them to weed the flowerbeds. And I wonder when they can start mowing? maybe painting? I think for now I'll stick with chores that don't involve sharp blades and are mostly "error-free" :)))

The Lake and Spa Shiki

For the first time ever, my sisters and I are all grown up enough to get to spend a weekend away together---no husbands, no kids, just us. With the only schedule to worry about...our spa appointments :)

My older sister was wise this year in asking for a special Mother's Day gift...a weekend away with her sisters. So, thank you to my bro-in-law Bryant for our treat to the Lodge of Four Seasons at the Lake!

It was heavenly to sleep in until 9, not worry about cleaning up soggy cereal bowls, nor worry about anyone at all---except ourselves! Fruity drinks were enjoyed by the pool (no splashing kids), we read the paper (I mean actually READ the paper!), browsed magazines (not Parent either), generated a list of our life's wishes, laughed, shared secrets, and dined on crab stuffed filet. Fun, yummy, and serene!

And Spa Shiki !!! Puffy white robes, cold citrus eye masks, rosemary infused face cloths, and the dry sauna---heaven! Good thing it is considered a "day spa" because we basically stayed there all day! Bryant treated us each to an hour massage and Pedi.

http://www.spashiki.com/

Wouldn't you know, I got the guy massage therapist...First my sisters laughed with relief because they didn't get him. Then they were jealous because I got the better massage...hee hee :) Geez, I think that is so awkward (and Jason was not too happy to hear about it).

The only other massage I've had was in China. A tiny Chinese girl who totally put me to sleep on the table...$26 for an hour :) This was a bit different---no Chinese girl, instead a strong guy, intent on whipping my muscles into shape. To my surprise, it wasn't as awkward as I thought, but instead refreshing and PAINFUL! I guess once you've had your Ob doc chatting away while he stitches you up in strange places, there is nothing embarrassing anymore. So, this guy burying his fingers into my shoulder muscles was no big deal. Very professional and informative.

He started by telling me that my back was a mess, that my spine muscles were tight as a spring, and "I think you should go for the Deep Tissue massage instead of the regular Swedish...it's only $20 bucks more." Really? Upgrade? If you say so, go for it (thanks again bro-in-law!)

By the end, I was about crying and almost yelped out in pain a couple of times. My muscles were so tight from schlepping kids around and burying stress for the past 10 years....painful! I lay there hoping that I wouldn't scream and imagined circle-shape bruises all over my body from his fingers smashing into my skin. I feared that I would look like a Dalmatian when I came out of there! It was definitely NOT relaxing, but I really did need it and could just imagine the toxins being smooshed out with every jab.

More importantly than Spa Shiki Guy brutalizing my skin and deep tissue, was that he offered out some really helpful advice for some symptoms that I'd been having. In fact, just by feeling my spine and neck, he could predict a host of minor ailments that I was having...creepy! Jaw pain, lower back pain, hormonal/emotional wackiness, stress of being responsible for five other people besides myself.... In between prodding, he says "Oh yeah, all that is caused by you being out of alignment...a good chiropractor is what you need and you'll feel good as new...able to take on anybody's crap with a smile" REALLY?? Sign me up!

Next post....my new obsession with my Chiropractor (well, not him personally) but his adjustments, acupuncture, and all that other alternative stuff---so cool! Thanks to my Sister's Weekend and Spa Shiki, I am refreshed and on the road to feeling normal...OK, somewhat normal, at least for awhile anyway :)

Now, to find a Day Spa here in Kansas City to keep the stress at bay---my new staple for mental health. Accupuncture and white puffy robes once a month anyone?

Flashback---4th of July

Some pics from the Fourth in Jeff. City...the boys got to spend the week before this with Gma and Gpa Kemper and Ben with Gma Poehlein....it was such a treat (for them and me!) I'm not really sure what Lydia and I did during that time. I think just recovery and maintaining mental health :) Seems this summer has been a time of recovering from the stress and anxiety of this past year. Thanks for the break Gma's and Gpa's---I hope to be back to normal soon, just in time for the school year to start :0


This picture cracks me up...lighter in hand, fingers in ears, running for cover! As they are getting older and more adept at the fireworks, I was reminded of what WE used to do---granted not when we were 6 years old, like Jack. But, we were just as crazy. This year, I got to sit in a chair at least for a little bit (until Lydia started getting into the firing range) and thought back on the 4th when I was young---picnics at someones house, watching fireworks at the Country Club where my Dad helped light them, playing Ghost in the Graveyard and Kick the Can in a friend's neighborhood. Ah, summer in a small town!

Again this Fourth, I spent sighing and battling the boys---who think they are invincible, can light anything, and are as careless as ever with a lit punk... :) Poor green army guys didn't stand a chance and were again blown up all over the yard. None of the real army guys left with holes or blood. BUT, Sam was proud to receive some minor battle wounds...his first firecracker that blew up in his fingers. Woo hoo! Luckily he had only singed skin and burn-rash on the tips (none blown off). He was more cautious after that.

Lydia was happy with a bag of poppers. I don't think she threw any of them hard enough to pop...you would think that would be frustrating; but she thought the idea was just to toss them out of the bag...2 year old success :)

Flashback to June---Father's Day

It is rare to have a pic with all of my Dad's grandchildren, especially on his Father's Day: 9 at the moment, with the 10th due to arrive in November (Andrea's, not mine!) :)

Here are our sweeties...Avery (4), Raina (4), Connor (2), Ben (4), Emma (8), Lydia (2), Sam (9), Grayson (6), and Jack (6).

Blog Backlog :)

With the whirl of activity from the past two weeks, I am very behind in writing about our super-happenings! Fourth of July, boys at Grandma's for a week, a Spa Weekend with my sisters, a refreshing trip to the chiropractor, and a float trip....all waiting to be chronicled.

Hopefully I'll feel like writing and catch up soon. Despite all of the fun, I've been in a slump. "Blogger's-block"? No time? Nothing worthwhile to say? Or perhaps can't come up with an interesting blurb.... :) So, maybe just pictures. Whatever it is, I hope it's coming soon...I'm feeling a little lost without my words.

Swimmers

Well, I spoke too soon in saying that the swim meets were easier this year. By the second meet, Benjamin remembered about the concession stand and howled the entire first quarter about candy. Lydia floated around the patio, bumping into people or climbing the fence. At least when it's time to watch the boys race, she is content and loves to yell for them...which I think is SO interesting. Proud parents and team mates holler and cheer, despite the fact that the swimmers hear nothing but muted cacophony! Makes me laugh...

But finally, after enduring 20 events-worth of Ben's howling about outrageously priced suckers, I couldn't take it anymore. As I trudged past my dear friend (who also has 4 kids, one from China) I muttered something about my swim meet fate, my temptation to run away from home, and maybe also offering a "kids-for-sale" slogan? She offered me sympathetic condolences and Mommy-encouragement. I think that knowing my friend truly understands my plight is the only thing that kept me from sticking the kids in the basement and returning to the pool! (you know I'm just kidding right?) I left with her words to put them in bed and "do something I enjoy"---I wondered what that could be....the only thing that came to mind was the clutter, laundry, and dishes glaring from my house.

I dragged a howling Ben and flopping Lydia through the crowd...most people staring pathetically at us...feeling sorry for them or me (I'm not sure). I tossed a few words to Jason at the grill, and stormed home, missing the other 3/4 of my kids' swimming. I put little people in bed and curled up with a book, again feeling sorry for all of the Mommies in the world whose events are ruined by 3-foot, irrational, cute people.


Before I toted the two pre-schoolers home to bed, I did manage to get some video footage! By last week's 3rd meet, I decided to save myself the grief and sent the boys and Daddy alone. Ben actually perked up when he realized that he did not have to endure the 3 hours of lame-ness at the pool and we relaxed at home. My swim meet optimism has been a bit crushed, but I have decided to be content savoring any snippet that I get to watch, looking forward to the day when they are all four swimming and I'm not herding Oompa-Loompas and experiencing a Willy Wonka nightmare!

Enjoy...Jack's new butterfly stroke and Sam's freestyle :))

Fuling Girls

Here are two GREAT links to our Fuling friends.

First, a link to the photo album of girlies adopted from the Fuling SWI, Lydia's "Fu Sisters," who share the common bond of the Fuling orphanage as their first home. Lydia is on page 42.
http://www.fulingkids.org/1Fulingers.htm

Next, a heartwarming story of two Fulingers who discovered that they are biological sisters...what a great story! They really look alike in the eyes. I often look through the Fuling photo album and see girls that "look like" Lydia. To me, many of them do; but, a few really catch my eye and I wonder..... :))
http://www.fulingkids.org/families.htm

Lydia has recently begun to notice other children who "look like" her...meaning they are Asian. She just stares. Ben yells loudly about anyone Asian (including adults), "Look Mom, he's/she's from China!" It's embarrassing, but what can you do? They are proud to have a "connection."

Lydia is also starting to understand a bit about her beginnings. Not nearly a comprehension, I guess, but a 2 year-old start. I look at her adoption blog and reunion trip pics with her, chatting about her nannies and "the baby house." Lately, I can ask her "Where were you born?" and she cheerfully replies "In China!"

She now routinely requests 'her song' at night-time. The one I made up about how we got her---it is simple and childlike, but with the undertones of an amazing story....her in China, needing a family; us here, needing a daughter; and our journey to bring her home. When I sing it, she gets serious and quiet, as if she understands the enormity of the words.

Often I wonder if it is right to paint these pictures in her mind....of her living without us for 14 months, being taken care of by other ladies, and eventually about her birth parents. But, I have learned that it IS the right thing to do---all adoptive adults report that it is essential to talk about it...from the time they are little...matter-of-fact, with no mysterious/fantasy images. It just seems so deep...too difficult for a little person to handle.

I guess the process of understanding is gradual, and absolutely necessary for her to realize who she is and who she has become. Heavy, heavy stuff. I just hope to make it easier for her, and my constant prayer is that she loves who she is, accepts her path, and wouldn't change a thing....despite the sadness, the questions, and "the story". I want to make it so "real" and "true" for her that she never misunderstands the steps that God has planned for her life.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that ALL things work together for good to those that love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose."

Cakes

Sam is examining the cake cookbook again. He suddenly retrieved it from the shelf, plopped down in the puffy kitchen chair and began studying titles and recipes. He and Jack settled in to discuss the qualities and merit of various ingredients and different cake types and shapes. Cream fillings, ice cream layers, flavored frostings, loaf shapes, round, and tiered.

Nuts received a thumbs down. Jack says with disgust, "Yuck, nuts will ruin the cake!" Sam becomes the serious chef, "You just leave them out and it will be fine." Poppy seeds were analyzed by Jack, "Eeewww! Those look gross." Sam defends, "I love poppy seeds, they're kind of sweet" I didn't interject that the poppy seeds themselves weren't sweet, but they seem to find themselves in sweet things. Really what DOES a poppy seed contribute anyway? Texture and color, I guess. I find them annoying as they crunch between my teeth.

Then, as if they were voting on what to make, the conversation turned to "Who wants the Chocolate Irish Cream Cake?!" Sam raises his hand and yells "Me!" in answer to his own question. "Who wants the Chocolate Mocha Toffee Cake with Truffles on top?!" Again they all respond in unison, "MEEEE!!!" Then, "Mom what are truffles?" I decided to tell them about different flavored fudgey sphere shapes instead of exotic fungus.

I listened to all of this while loading the dishwasher, worried that the next utterance would be a request for baking a spectacular creation....I dreaded it, then felt guilty. Guilty that I don't have the energy or determination to take on something as relatively easy as baking a cake. And guilty that I tend to take the easy way out and offer a Popsicle from the freezer. But, that's what I did. They cheerfully replaced the shiny cookbook back on the shelf and scampered to the deep freeze. I let out a sigh of relief that a master confection was not requested, that my kitchen would stay clean a little longer, and that I wouldn't have to defend the sugar-mound to Jason....his health kick continues and every bite that goes in our mouths is scrutinized :) So, frozen pops on a stick it is (the "all fruit, low-sugar ones," just for the record).

Sweet cravings have been satisfied, but I know the boys would truly love to be presented with a four-tier, frosted, fruited, chocolated beauty. Maybe I will do it....but it requires planning....the type of chore that requires penciling in on the calendar and perhaps a trip to the spa afterwards? The internal struggle I face! Maybe they will be just as happy with a box of brownies? :)

Dealing with Awkward Adoption Comments

When we adopted Lydia, I knew that I should prepare myself for probing questions, strange comments, and unintentional insensitivity from others. I have mostly been unscathed by these thus far. Sometimes I just ignore; and a lot of the time, I use the situation as a way to educate people about adoption---the challenges, the joys, and living with a little one who has institutional effects.

Most people are interested in knowing more about international adoption, how we got Lydia, etc. I'll admit, it does get old telling her story to sometimes complete strangers or trying to find ways to describe the process of adopting a special needs baby without spilling out all of her private medical information. It is awkward

I still occasionally read the adoption chat groups and see an adoptive mommy's post about her most recent experience with a stranger's insensitive remarks. I usually read with interest and think how I would react, trying to generate some good-sounding comeback or decide whether they over-reacted. This time the experience was mine, and I'm not sure I was prepared.

Earlier this week I had one of my first major experiences with an unintentional social gaffe related to my daughter. I know that the woman's comment was just an attempt at making jovial conversation, but it jabbed my heart. Usually I would become angry at such a blab, but I know that things often fly out of my mouth without realizing how it sounds....and, so this time, no anger, it just made me sad.

The conversation emerged at a recent committee meeting (where unfortunately for my schedule, the conversation doesn't stay on the agenda). We were tossing about the news that one of our acquaintances had taken on a huge responsibility at the kids' school....I think it's great for her, others (who have merely 1-2 children each) were wondering if she could handle the added pressure. In defense of my friend who was being discussed, I said, "Oh, she'll do great! But, she does have four kids...that will be tough. I can relate." The unsuspecting offender across the table said, "And she even gave birth to all of them, so she's got one up on you!"

What?! Pregnancy and the birth process is totally irrelevant to the responsibility of parenting a person for a lifetime, in my opinion. I smiled, and tried to grace around that one so that I didn't attack the lady.

I don't even remember what I said after that. Something to the the effect of, "Oh, I guarantee that getting Lydia, caring for her, and loving her is just the same 'effort' and heart-ache as giving birth to her....perhaps even more so." I think I even blabbed something like, 'doesn't really matter whether the child came from my body, she's my daughter and requires the same struggle as any child...and I still have FOUR kids, no matter where they came from.' I blurred through the rest of the conversation, with a smile on my face, as if the gaffe had not affected me....I really sat there feeling sorry for myself, and for Lydia.

Shoving down the self-pity, the convo moved on to Lydia (due to curiosity from another momma) and suddenly five minutes later, the offender clasped her hand over her mouth and exclaimed "Oh! I'm SO sorry...I just realized what I said. I never meant to sound like that...." I was thankful that she realized the verbal faux pas on her own. "That's okay," I said (even though it wasn't). 'Toughen up,' I told myself, 'I'm sure it won't be the last time.'

I can take the insensitive remarks---I can ignore the reference that I'm not her birth mother. What worries me though, is what Lydia will have to deal with in the future. It's difficult enough for an adult to deal with/ignore those comments. Teaching a child how to respond and cope with the topic of her origin, is another.....thankfully, it is God, not us, who places people in families. He is the Maker and Creator of life. All is under His control, even family dynamics. It's tough to understand, but it is a comfort. He can take an impossible situation and make it wonderful :)

Jack's Imagination Goes Wrong

Today is one of those days that must be chronicled in the annals of my life. Maybe someday I will look back on it and laugh, but right now I am steaming and about to cry, wondering what is going to become of me as I deal with these kids. Just yesterday when I thought that I might be a good candidate for some anxiety-reducing medication, I never imagined that this day would be the icing on the proverbial cake, and that I need to call someone for counseling....

In about twenty years, talk around our Christmas dinner table will sound something like this:

Sam: "Hey Jack! Remember the time, when you were six (or was it seven?) and you called 911?"

Jack: "Oh yeah! I'll never forget that! That was SO funny! Man I was scared and Mom was
SO mad. Do you remember that mean police lady that came to the door and told Mom that she should watch us better and that she could cart me off to jail?!"

Sam: "Yeah, I was shaking too! I thought she was going to put you in the back of the police car! Remember Mom trying to apologize to her and the officer lady was such a witch to Mom and Mom told her it was 'over the edge' to threaten to take a 6 year-old to jail?"

Jack: "Oh yeah! I forgot Mom tried to tell her off (after she got done yelling at me). Hey, what was the big deal anyway? I don't remember why they came to the house."

Sam: "Don't you remember?! You called 911, hung up, then when the police dept called back
you asked 'who they were working for' and threatened to blow them up?! Remember, you were pretending like you were some kind of spy?"

Jack: "Oh yeah! I always liked to play spy. Remember that the dispatcher on the phone was
badgering Mom about who the kid was on the phone because they had my voice recorded and belittled her that she didn't even know what her kid was doing....and she freaked out on him yelling that she had four kids in the house and no idea which one of us made the prank call. Remember that? (ha ha ha ha) "

Sam: "Yeah and remember the dispatcher said that 'the kid's words and threat were too elaborate for a six year old' and Mom told him that her kids were more advanced than typical kids?"

Jack: "Oh yeah! HA HA....wow, that was something....boy was mom MAD!"


Well unfortunately folks, this is not the work of fiction----it just happened to me. I wish that I could say I just made that up. Hopefully, I'll look back on this and laugh?? I was standing in the foyer the entire time talking to a gutter/deck contractor...only 10 feet from the kids...when this all happened. The gutter guy and I chatted away while my son threatened to blow up whoever was on the other end of the phone...unfortunately it happened to be the police!

Overall, leave it to my most imaginative and ornery son to do this. He claims he truly did not know that he was talking to the police...he thought that a prankster had returned the call after his "911 hangup". He didn't know that the police call back after you hang up on 911 !!!

I was SO mad and about in tears. The police officers 1)treated me like an idiot, 2) insinuated that I am a neglectful parent, and 3) the witchy police woman totally overstepped her authority and her intent to frighten Jack by threatening to take him to jail! I really lost it then. I thought that it was great that they were really taking it seriously, but then totally overstepped in trying to teach him a lesson. Now he will never want to call 911 (even when he needs it) and he will have ingrained in his mind that police officers are jerks, unfriendly, and NOT here to help us. She could have gotten her message across in a better way and did some "clean up" at the end of her yelling....instead she ripped my front door open before I could even open it for her, she continued to yell at him and tell him lies for about 5 minutes, then without saying good-bye or 'closing it up' with me, she stormed off down my yard as I was trying to apologize and told me "watch your kids better." That's when I let loose and told her that her threat of jail was uncalled for. I can't believe I got in an argument with a police officer! She knew she was wrong, I could tell, but just told me I could file a complaint if I wanted.

Where are these jerks when the kids at the park down the street are smoking pot and bashing in our mailboxes at 11 p.m.? I guess answering pranks from 6 year-olds??? I can't believe my day has gone like this...I should be at the pool!

Needless to say, ALL of the kids were lectured and sent to bed. Lydia was oblivious, the boys were about to pee their pants, and shakily went down to ponder their fate and take a nap. I sat here shaking with anger---at Jack, and the way I was treated by the authorities.

Those anti-anxiety meds are looking better--will I survive? :) I'm going to take a nap....I'll make sure to lock the doors and take the phone of the hook---so that the next time it rings, it's not a call-back from the PD!

First Swim Meet

Summer water fun has officially begun in Oak Tree Farms with the first swim meet! It makes for a long and crazy night, but it is great. Lugging all of the our gear (toys for B & L, snacks, towels, goggles, chairs, etc) is a challenge. I typically toss Lydia in the stroller and then pack it down with all of the stuff on top of her and trudge to the pool :)

With two guys swimming now, we have to stay tuned in more carefully to the events or we miss them---in 30 seconds the race is finished. There are 60+ events and we are now watching about 12 events total; during the rest of the time, we are trying to keep people happy and fed, and little ones from running off or falling into the pool.

This year Lydia is a bit older of course and was able to "hang out" with her friend, Leila. Ben is an all-around complainer the whole time, unless he has a snack or novel toy.

Sam and Jack did great! Jack made it all the way across the pool in each event without touching the ropes once! He has a great back stroke (see video below).

Sam did well in the dreaded Individual Medley...it is super exhausting for him (but no tears or nail biting this year!). He has a really efficient butterfly stroke!

More swim news to come as we have a meet every week. This week is a home meet so it's easier to walk home if the little ones get antsy. Jason is either a timer or mans the grill and I supervise the kids...making sure the boys don't miss their events and the little ones are occupied. It is so much easier this year, now that L. is not a baby.

I'm SO thankful that we have such a great pool in our neighborhood---what a wonderful and fun way to learn how to swim! Stay tuned!

Lydia Has Learned To Sing !

I have figured out how to post video!!! We've got so many cameras around this place, but only one that can collect snippets of digital video. Quality isn't that great, but it's something!

Lydia's language is bursting...now she comes up with all kinds of creative sentences, typically 5-7 words in length :) Some of her most recent exclamations: "No I don't want to go bed Mommy" or "He need get off my bike!"

The past few nights, she has been able to string together most of the phrasing in her favorite songs. Ignore me in the background...she sings best on my lap and holding the camera out without knowing if she was in the frame was a trick :)