Welcome Lilah Ruth!

I have a new niece!

Lilah Ruth arrived after much waiting and waiting, making 10 grandchildren now from my side of the family. Despite the frigid temps and beginning of a cold, I wrapped up, gargled tons of Listerine to kill threatening germs, and went down to the Plaza to give her a big squeeze :)

She is absolutely beautiful and a sweet little peach. The boys say that I am a baby hog and won't let them hold her....I counter that with a reminder that little ones need experienced consoling and she needs to learn her aunt's voice and special cooing and bouncing :)

Lydia's Chinese Dance

At age three, I'm not really sure what I was doing to foster my experiences in the arts. It probably amounted to culinary arts consisting of mud pie creations, such as evergreen/rock stew with a mud sludge base. Perhaps I was doing the Hokey Pokey or Disco Duck out in my yard? Not really sure, but I do know that I was never very interested in dance or gymnastics. Primarily because I knew that dancing was equivalent to "performing", meaning that at sometime or other, I would have to get up in front of people and prance around in some silly way...that seemed ridiculous to me.

Shyness and lack of confidence kept me from doing a lot of things---piano lessons for instance. But, I was a twirler in 1st grade. Does that count for girlie ambition? I think the enthusiasm ended after the first parade, when I dropped my baton several times in a University Homecoming parade (and, oh yes....my little skirt came unbuttoned and fell off on the main street ). That ended my girlie performer days!

So, what is my 3 year-old doing? Just exactly what I never had the interest (or courage) to do....she is taking dance classes :) And, not just any dance, she has the opportunity to take dance from a Chinese native, who was a professional dancer in Beijing and traveled throughout China (and now the US) performing traditional Chinese dance. Ms. Lily Zhang is her teacher and is a joy to watch and be around! She teaches them poise, respect, courage and self-confidence...and in between dance poses, shares with them the tidbits of their heritage. Mandarin phrases and Chinese culture are sprinkled in with her "Chinese instructor" personality. She is full of hugs and love for the girls, but also is stern and no-nonsense (love that), encouraging discipline and proper technique.

Well, Lydia was not that eager on her first day. I gushed about her little dance clothes and hairstyle for days, but because Grandma had to take her, she was hesitant that this adventure would be fun. Grandma's report: emotions were high...hair had been curled, tights and little twirly skirt were donned; but things went sour when another little girl began to cry and Lydia realized that this activity was questionable. She cried the rest of the session.

Week 2 & 3, Ms. Lily was so gracious to let me come into the studio and act as Lydia's shadow, helping her do the little moves. She is the youngest in the class, and so I am the puppeteer and Lydia is the little marionette puppet, as I twist her little arms and body this way and that. I think we are Ms. Lily's comic relief for the day:) She sits in the front, giggling and says, "ah girls, look at mama, she has good form! Look at her..back straight head up!" she commands them. They all look back at me and sit up an extra 2 inches, chin tilted more up to the ceiling. I sit back there feeling like a student as well, trying to look as poised and dancer-like as possible!

So, we'll see what happens for the first performance at the Nelson-Atkins Chinese New Year celebration next month. Lydia is going to freak out for sure, but the performance will be superb! A troupe of little Chinese girls dancing together brings joy to my heart and I'm so thrilled that Lydia can be a part of it. We even met a girlie in her class that is from her orphanage in Fuling :)

Now, I will need to make SURE that her costume is duct-taped on during the performance, to avoid potential humiliation and long-term scarring, of course, if her skirt happens to feel like detaching! Performance must be positive and fun :))

Feasts and Thanks

November was an absolute blur of activity and responsibilities. It is at this point in the semester that I begin to freak out a bit and think that things aren't going to get done...then I realize that the 4th grade teacher has announced a new project to be done over the weekend!

Just as I write that on the planner, I realize that same week, I've scheduled an exam, am committed to reviewing student research papers, have to meet with 15+ students, and...oh yes, my 1st grader is depressed that I can't come to his Thanksgiving Feast, because I will be gone to a convention in New Orleans! AND, while I'm gone, Lydia starts her new dance class :( Ugh!!! The problem is that I am partially over committed from my own doing, and partially from things that can't be avoided...that's my life. Jason says he's going to start saying "no" for me. But, in retrospect over this past year, I think that I have really made progress in that area :) You wouldn't know it by looking at my calendar, but it's working.

This "full-time working mom" gig is not for the faint of heart for sure. By Friday night, I flop down in a chair or hide in my office upstairs and sit staring at the wall, wondering how I made it through the week, and how in the world I am going to make next week work out. But, by God's grace everything gets done and we scrape through. By the end of the week, everyone is still alive, my boys have clean uniforms on most days, homework gets done, book reports get written, and we even are able to make pretty decent projects----but, not without a lot of struggle and tears (theirs and mine :)



Sam's class has been studying the Middle Ages in November, thus the assignment of a castle....to be planned and created in 5 days (what!?). Only a few moments of arguing and stomping because Dad wouldn't let him have full reign of the spray painting, and we got it completed the night before my flight....I was frantically packing bags while giving last minute instructions for how to make the outside look cool---Dad and son did not take all of my advice, like the realistic- looking flags and banners, garden area, and pool/fountain that I suggested? :)



Thanksgiving is a special occasion at Whitefield. Sam (4th grade) has been studying the Middle Ages, thus their feast revolved around castles, knights, lords, and kings. He was to dress as Lord Thomas, so add that to the list of things needed before my flight...a costume! With Grandma's help, we pulled together some rich-looking Lord duds, complete with silk jacket, silver medallion, money bag of gold, and a feather in his hat.





Jack's 1st grade does the traditional Pilgrims and Indians. I was sorry to miss the Feast (and felt guilty that I didn't volunteer to send in food...see, saying "no" I guess? but I thought you are supposed to feel empowered by that, not guilt). Dad managed to get in some face time at both feasts, and even took some pics for me. Reminder to self....make SURE that I'm not out of town next year when Jack is a Pilgrim.

Being thankful that I'm still swimming and not sinking ;)

We Love to Dress Up...Trick or Treat!

3 Ninjas and a Princess emerged from the house after hours at the sewing machine and curlers/makeup for Lydia. Cousins Avery Butterfly and Connor the Pirate joined us for the annual "begging candy from door to door" :)

The boys each wanted $39 Ninja costumes from that nifty catalog that arrives in the mailbox mid-August. I finally announced about a week ago, that I would make them instead. Imagining a design, no problem; getting silky fabric, no problem; obtaining Ninja swords, no problem; finding time to create...a big problem.

With the deadline of sunset looming (typical procrastinator) the fabric was spread out....the scissors flew and the sewing machine hummed for about 3 hours...and then Ninja pants, colorful sashes, and a princess cape appeared.

I am really not an experienced seamstress. I try so hard to pay attention every time my mom explains how to piece together a pattern, or how the nape of the fabric should run; however, it is no use. I just can't grasp what she is saying! It's just like playing cards....one of those things that I REALLY want to be able to do, but I'm just too impatient to figure out the rules!

I am not really a "rule-follower" either (although I try to be, during moments of necessity)....and figuring out something new usually is "do it and see what happens"...that's my learning style (you know, other people won't touch a thing until they sit and read the manual?) Today, I recognized this personality flaw is okay and figured out how to make that unhelpful characteristic work. I have finally learned how to sew! No pattern....just start imagining, hacking away with scissors, and sewing with no particular plan in mind! I really enjoyed it SO much more than forcing myself to adhere to the plan set out by someone else :)

Most of all, it turned out great and the boys were all impressed by my creativity....I informed them not to expect any other sewing in the near future however ;)

These pictures really don't reveal how totally CUTE the boys looked and how absolutely BEAUTIFUL Lydia looked with her curly hair piled on top of her head and eye makeup :)

I dressed up in princess attire as well, so that Lydia wouldn't be the only royalty...she loved it---that we looked the same. (Another tactic to help her deal with interracial adoption issues...that even though she is Chinese, she is the same as us...pointing out characteristics that she and I share as mother/daughter too).

2009---the first time for homemade costumes, Lydia's first time for makeup, AND when the boys realized the value of using a pillowcase to carry their loot...much COOLER than a pumpkin and holds more!

Happy Birthday Lydia!

Today is my little girl's third birthday! What a simple statement, that holds such a powerful message for me. First, merely a couple of years ago I never imagined that I would even have a daughter. In fact, I had basically convinced myself that I was destined to be a boy-only Mommy forever. Many women are, and I was okay with it. But, something changed in my heart and I knew it was a space that only a little girl could fill....what a perfect plan that God had to give us our heart's desire, before we even knew what we wanted. Secondly, I find it amazing that already 3 years have passed since she was born in China...and so much has happened in that little life.

Lydia is still the non-stop whirlwind in my life; a spinning, giggling girlie that is full of happiness and spunk. Yes, I often wonder how I can make it through the day...with her continuing to explore everything, as if all of the world is nice and out to make her happy. Licking knives for example? I understand the curiosity and desire to snag a crumb of cake, but I don't understand the desire to risk your safety to do so...not so nice to slice your tongue!

Yesterday, however, as we prepared to run some errands together, we shared a peaceful moment (rare) that made me pause and just watch her and love her so much. I stood in front of the mirror, putting on a bit of make-up. She stood below me, just watching (rare again). She didn't touch anything, didn't try to open bottles and compacts. Just watched. "What's that Mommy?" with the opening of each item. "It's eye liner to make your eyes bright and pretty." She watched my hand motions intently as I swiped the pencil. She took in every movement and pondered the effects of each item. "For my eyes Mommy?" "Someday," I told her, "someday I'll show you how to put make-up on".

While she watched, my heart melted at the reminder of what a mommy is in a little girl's mind...and that I was that person to her....a little girl who once did not have a mommy at her side. My thoughts wandered to images of me smoothing her hair while we worked together to make her already beautiful face even more colorful and exotic....the thought warmed my heart. And for this brief quiet encounter, I had a living moment of what my little girl means to me...being able to pass on the qualities of being a woman and sharing love and togetherness along the way.

Then fear seized me for just a bit, as I thought that she will be learning these things from ME! Me, who has made so many mistakes. Me, who continues to falter. I'm not the right person to teach her all these things! How to put on make-up is one thing, but how to become a woman of integrity, humility, and outstanding character is another! And then, "oh no, what will become of her!" Lord help me, I'm not sure I can do this (as I replaced the lid on the mascara and tossed it down with a clatter)! She is too precious for me to have, I thought (even though her curiosity and sassy-ness terrorize me daily!) :)

Those negative thoughts were shattered though, by a sweet little voice, saying "You so pretty Mommy. I'm pretty too? I love you Mommy." The fear retreated as I was reminded of my purpose as a mommy...not to be perfect, but to be there....Ah-ha yes, now I get it....all of my faults and fears won't prevent her from blossoming into a woman with a beautiful heart. God has truly made her with a joyful temperament and inner beauty that I could never dream of creating in her....she is who she is... energetic, happy, whirlwind, and all! I know that He gave this particular little girl to us, because we are just crazy enough to handle her! And we then, receive the joy of watching GOD form her into a little lady.

Most of all, I know that I need her just as much as she needs me....

Happy Birthday my lovely little girl. Looking forward to the day when we can "spa" and "make-up" together...but, as I told you...you are so beautiful already that I don't think you will ever even need to carry a lipstick! I hope you will always know how much we love you and that we hope you will keep joy in your heart....today and always.

Why Classical Education?

Intelligence Plus Character: The Importance of Classical Christian Education

By Chuck ColsonPublished Date: November 08, 2005


"Education which stops with efficiency may prove the greatest menace to society. . . . We must remember that intelligence is not enough. Intelligence plus character -- that is the goal of true education." (Martin Luther King, Jr.)

You may remember that I quoted these lines, which come from Martin Luther King, Jr., when I was talking about a student's convocation speech at Dartmouth College. But they are worth pondering, because they raise a very profound question: How, in today's society, do we provide the kind of "true education" that King was talking about, that develops both character and intelligence?

Never have we needed more urgently to find an answer to this question. The modern secular university can not cultivate character in a value-free environment, because if there is no truth, there is no standard of ethics by which we can measure character. So the university has simply given up on it.

And not only are our schools and colleges not teaching character, but they're increasingly abandoning academics as well. The typical student at a great secular university will not learn much about the history of Western civilization. My alma mater, Brown University, an Ivy League school with a great reputation, no longer has a core curriculum. You can go through the school without ever knowing who Plato, Aristotle, Darwin, or Freud were. In fact, you could major in African drum-beating. So from my perspective, the modern secular university has abandoned both the pursuit of classical learning and the development of character. That's why they're particularly dangerous places today, and it's why Christian students must be well grounded before they go there.

And this is also why I so strongly support the Christian classical education movement that is beginning to spread across the country. It combines, you see, the two historic goals of a liberal education: the cultivation of knowledge and the cultivation of character. It shows us the continuum in the intellectual history of the West that goes back to the Greco-Roman era and, therefore, enables us to better understand our own postmodern era. If we cut ourselves off from the past, we can't understand the present. And it's particularly critical, in my mind, for Christians to understand the philosophical and cultural currents that have shaped our society.
Let me give you just one good example. Galileo, as everyone knows, was thrown in jail for challenging Aristotle's philosophical assumptions about an eternal universe. But, as I mentioned in an earlier broadcast, Francis Bacon, sometimes called "the father of modern science," was influenced by the Protestant Reformation, and he embraced Luther's idea about abandoning the constraints of tradition and going back to the root: the Bible. He applied this principle to freeing science from philosophical assumptions and instead looking at what God has made -- go back to the root of things, as Luther did. This allowed modern science to pursue truth uninhibited by philosophy.

Why is this relevant today? Because we're dealing with the same issue. Naturalism is the philosophical assumption that binds modern science. And this is at the heart of the intelligent design debate, but you only see this when you know your own history.

I believe that every serious Christian needs to be classically grounded, not only to understand the history of our own civilization, but also to contend for truth in the marketplace. So I hope that you will check for a classical Christian school in your area -- as a place for your kids and as a cause to support."

Totally Amazing

Well, I've known this for about 2 months now....I have just ignored it and keep trudging through my day. Before I realize it, a week passes and I have done nothing about it. But now, it is starting to become a problem. I can't overlook it anymore!

What I have been pushing aside for all this time....is my purse. It is a cute metallic-type bag, about 12x5 in. (i.e. not too big) and it matches nearly everything. Because of it's sheen, alligator-type patten, and mono-chrome color it goes with black or brown...no need to switch purses. I carry it everywhere. And despite it's normal size, it can hold a ton; and THAT is the problem.

Tonight, I decided to clear out the mess in there, and this is what I found (get ready): 2 cute packets of half-empty tissues, a round retractable tape measure, a Gymboree brochure, an important receipt from Yong's alterations (can't forget to pick up that suit), a tiny case of business cards, a 4x4 bag (containing 2 tubes of lip gloss, a mirror, and 2 lip liners), 2 headbands, a small notebook (to write down those things not to forget), a case of dental floss, my wallet (which is so packed with junk that it is bursting open), my long lost comb, a 4 GB travel drive, more makeup, a penlight, a discarded chunky bead necklace, my lime green phone (hiding in the bottom of course), a fat tootsie roll (?? I hate those), 3 old Costco lists, a small "chip clip" (what!?), a new package of Burt's Bees lip balm (waiting to be opened), 2 Lego guys (one with his head missing), an empty bottle of Tylenol, 3 lint-encrusted pieces of spearmint gum (with the wrappers half off), 2 silver spoons (from yogurt lunches that were never eaten), 4 pony-tail holders, 5 pens and 2 markers, a large metal button (that came off my pants one day), a cool pair of handmade beaded earrings, a set of 8 University keys, 4 hair clips (two large and 2 small), a 2-inch stack of receipts, a speeding ticket (watch out in Lone Jack!), and $1. 86 in coins.....

Truly amazing. I'm really not kidding. ALL of this just came out of a little purse, that is smaller than a toaster!!! Now to decide what stays and what goes...hmm, it all seems somewhat important. Decisions, decisions!

Happy Birthday Avery!

My niece has turned 5 ! The night she was born, I slept in a hospital lounge area waiting for her arrival. Her little face reminded me of Sam as a newborn :) And I had the joy of babysitting her from 6 weeks until age 2 :)

Happy Birthday sweet girl!

Happy Birthday to My Middle Guy!

Can't believe Jack is 7 ! The night he arrived, we had to leave the Oktoberfest in LS to get to the hospital and finally at 3 am (exhausting), he appeared. What a chubs when he came out, and a big mop of dark hair! Still has the thick hair (which seems to be getting darker).









Jack is our considerate one, and will basically give you the shirt off his back, the food from his plate, or the last piece of gum.

He really loves to look at his baby pictures on his birthday each year...what precious pictures of Sam and him as the two brothers :) I stared at pictures of them for awhile tonight, Sam hugging Jack's little baby neck...and thinking about what buds they've always been.

Tonight, Sam helped Jack read his math page; the whole while, Jack stroked Sam's finger in affection while he listened, appreciating that his older brother would take the time to help him...awww....I hope they will always have this bond.


We spent his birthday weekend at G'ma and G'pa's, where he wanted a bonfire and cookout. Not only did he get his wish, but I was told that he had THE best birthday ever! Well, that's good to hear...a mom never wants to hear that they had the worst event of their little life :)


Jack spent the day doing all things he enjoys---road his motorcycle, shot his new bow (insane, I know), and shot the .22 with G'pa and Dad (again, insanity). Then doughnuts to school for his friends and went out for steak in the evening. Let the Fall birthdays begin---Avery, G'ma, and Lydia are next!












I love you, my middle boy.

Grade School Pranks

After picking up the boys from school, I toss out the usual mom inquiry..."So, what did you do today? Did you have a good day?" "Yup" or "Oh, the usual" are the responses I typically get. Today though, Sam's 4th grade answer made me smile and sent me on the memory train back to when I was in fourth grade.

I had barely closed the van door, before he jumped into his seat and announced, "Guess what happened today?!" in such an excited voice, that I thought someone must have lost their lunch at a pivotal moment, or at least had bloodshed on the playground. I didn't even have to answer or wait for a delayed turn in the conversation. Before I even pulled out of the carpool line, he dove in.....

"Mom, ___ got sent to the Headmaster's office today! Because he launched applesauce from his spoon like a catapult and it splatted into a girl's hair!"...then silence from the backseat...

I should have said, "Oh really? Yes, we shouldn't do that." But, I just couldn't! The animation in his voice and picture in my mind of a little girl dripping in applesauce made me burst out laughing. After I gained a bit of composure, I looked into the rear view mirror...I think the boys were shocked at my response and my next question, "He really got sent to the office for that?!" They just looked at me and then began lamenting the fact that it was unfair that other friends had to go as well, just because they had their spoons pulled back in "ready position," but never fired...the injustice!

As I pulled out of the parking lot with a smile on my face, I recalled the one and only time I got sent to the Principal's office (not counting the times I had to sit in the hall and copy "I won't talk out loud" sentences 500 times...something about that is just wrong...didn't I have any schoolwork to do??). I vaguely remember that it was a sunny day out on the playground and I was on the teeter-totter with a certain boy...one of the cute, smart boys...one that I always longed to have attention from...however, this certain dude was also mouthy and a smarty-pants. I remember that he must have said something to peeve me, just at the moment that I realized there were a few pebbles underneath the seat of my teeter. I'm not sure what possessed me, I guess whatever he said, but I picked up the pebbles and launched them at his head! I think I missed, and I think we were both even laughing; however, the teacher was not amused...I guess I wasn't covert enough, because she saw everything, and marched over, jerked me off the play equipment and into the office. "She threw a ROCK at another student!" she spewed to the principal. I remember feeling misunderstood, confused, and also a little miffed that I was caught...and also bewildered at how it all happened in the first place!

All of these scenes ran through my mind as I heard further testimony about the misfortune of 4th grader ____. I kind of felt sorry for him, while also imagining the sound that pureed apples would make when hitting the soft fluff of girlie hair. Ah, fourth grade pranks...such a learning experience (and kind of fun)...just glad it wasn't my kids doing the pranking!

Never Say Never...Our Pup Katie

Many think that we have lost the very last shred of rational thought around here....maybe they are right. Despite all logic and reasoning, we now have a wonderfully intelligent, beautiful, and sturdily bred German Shepherd Dog to add to our clan.

Announcing...Katie Vom Waldenhaus, puppy extraordinaire!

I am a firm believer in the phrase "Never say never..." The exact circumstances that one swears will never occur, or actions that they swear they will never take...often do in fact happen, exactly as said! This happens around here all the time anyway. And this time is no different. Jason was adamant that we would never have a dog (or any other breathing thing) around here...no fur, no drool, no messes in the backyard, none of that.

For the past year, the boys have been pleading for a doggie of their own. Now, we are typically not real animal lovers around here. I can't stand it when someones dog jumps on me, leaves fur on my clothes, or slobbers on my arm. Jason used to laugh when he saw some schmuck walking their dog in 20 degree temps or in the pouring rain. And I was convinced that the chaos of 4 children flying around here was definitely enough for any house, let alone adding a four-legged furball.

But then I started feeling sorry for the boys, and also feeling that their childhood would be incomplete without some sort of pet. Well, at some precise moment in time (I'm not sure what happens) some strange transformation takes place in one's mind. In that split second, you actually forget anything that you've ever thought before and you convince yourself that your NEW thought is exactly what you should do...of course! In this case, all it took was timing...just wait for the perfect moment (in this case, a theft from our driveway), put a plug in for a dog, and convince Jason that it was his idea :) It worked! "Well, we won't have a dog unless it's a German Shepherd. I won't have some tiny fluff ball, wimpy dog," he says. "Fine, " I say and begin Googling breeders. After much obsessive research on his part, and a hunch on my part, in less than 5 days, we had a pup in our house :)

Actually, to be fair, there was a bit more discussion than that. And planning...."Our dog will be brilliant! (him) Our dog will be beautiful! (me) Our dog will be obedient! (him) Our dog will protect us! (me) Our dog will hunt! (him) Our dog will love kids! (me)"

In the end, we found all of this in our GS...she has lovely markings, very smart, and HUGE. She is 3 months old and after only 3 weeks, I can barely carry her now and her paws are nearly as big as my hands!

Do I mind the fur and the slobber? What about the mess and extra work of a pup? Actually, it's just like your own kids...you don't mind the drool and mess if it is your own. She is learning the rules of the house (like not eating the boys' school papers) and can learn a trick with only one teaching (Frisbee!)...super smart. Katie is a keeper!

So, now my kids have a dog. And what do I get out of this? Actually, I have motives as well. My goal is to train her to run with me, so that I won't be afraid to run/walk at night AND to have her guard the house while we sleep. When a 110 pound dog has "got your back", you feel pretty confident and every great mama needs a bit of assistance in watching over her babies :)

First Day of School

Unbelievably, school is back in full swing! The past two years I have really avoided the thought of school starting, thinking that maybe if I don't acknowledge it, summer won't end? Illogical, I know. But it makes me feel more in control, until I realize that...ugh, everyone needs haircuts, new uniforms, crazily expensive shoes, something nutritious and exciting for lunch....and WHAT? all that needs to happen in 2 days?! Oops, guess I should stop procrastinating and face the inevitable.

We did manage to get all of that done, as usual. And the boys made it to class on time and looking fairly spiffy.

Sam is excited to be in 4th grade. This is the year he will begin Latin and the Progymnasmata (writing instruction). So far, he's doing well----memorization and language are his strength, so the Latin vocab (with gender), and verb endings are no sweat and his first attempt at writing fable has been tear-free :) Maybe he will be my multilingual or writing child?

Jack is loving 1st grade and he got one of our fav. teachers. She is sure tough and keeps them SUPER busy throughout the day, but she is fun and consistent. Jack is our math whiz and can whip out fact sheets in seconds and problem-solve in his head. Although he knows how to read, he avoids it (acting like he doesn't know how). And, I think that he has already been put in the lower reading group...annoying! He is definitely not the "language lover" that Sam is.

Although we are off to a good start, we have been delayed....by the second week of school, the flu has kept them home for ONE whole week! I am quite certain that it is H1N1 virus btw, because it has lasted forever in our typically hardy kids---news reports say that they are no longer calculating the cases, nor testing for it, and that if you have the flu, it is 99% likely to be "swine." So much for the hysteria...just recover and move on.

With this curriculum, any missed day creates much work to be finished at home, not to mention five days worth (which in my opinion, is torture for a parent)! The pile of books and papers is amazing. So, our strategy? Jason promised that if they were diligent in finishing it ALL, he would whisk them to Grandma's to play the Wii for 3 days over the holiday weekend. It worked! I've never seen them so focused or work so fast, especially with SO much to do!

The stack of missed work is complete. They are getting their game fix. And now I am left sitting in bed with chills and fever, spending my holiday coaxing Lydia into yet another nap (I think we slept a total of 5 hours this afternoon) :)

Where Did The Summer Go?

There are so many cliques to express how quickly life passes before us....and even sayings to help us remember to enjoy the present. "Time flies!" or "like sand through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives" or "stop and smell the roses." However you choose to say it, really no words can express the helpless feeling one experiences as time slips through your fingers, never to be reclaimed. How quickly it gets away from us, needing to be savored and enjoyed!

I am frustrated nearly every day, that I cannot DO something about the passage of time. Maybe it's my control-freakishness, the micro-manager in me, or perhaps my desire to get my own way, but it annoys me that the clock continues to tick, when I wish to pause the hands and sit to reflect on what is happening around me. I tend to have a busy mind that whirls at cyclone speed. It doesn't take a rest until it either 1) crashes, or 2) is harnessed with extreme effort and forced to cooperate on a task. My mind would rather travel into thoughts of the past or the future, instead of focusing on what is important...the present!

So, once again I am saying to myself...where did the past few months go? It now seems a blur of activity in my mind. Thankfully, someone invented a way for us to capture our moments on film so that the images aren't lost forever (or more likely, distorted) in the abyss called the mind.

FINALLY, I am forcing myself to slow down and review the fun we had this summer. Twas not all fun and games; but as I look at these images I am reminded that a mom's exhaustion equals a child's fun and is the way to create happy memories, rather than a dull recollection of dreary chores and constant work. Bottom line...we did have fun this summer! Sometimes it took lots of effort to have a joyful spirit, but we did a lot (which was a goal), I spent nearly every moment with my munchkins (which was another goal), and I spent a lot of time reflecting and rejuvenating so that I can press on (which was the ultimate goal of the summer) :))

Pics...Jack really liked his art class at the Nelson-Atkins Art Museum. He has his Dad's talent for creativity and artistic abilities (and the patience to create). He made some great sculptures and paintings and we are waiting to see if his project will be put on display at the Museum.

While he had class, the other three and I had to find ways to entertain ourselves at the Plaza...not too difficult (when everyone is cooperating). A few things we discovered 1) you can walk from the Art Museum to the McDonald's on the Plaza, have a Coke and an ice cream and walk back with tons of time to spare (with breaks by the fountains too), 2) it is fun to picnic under the gigantic Badminton birdie sculptures that rest on the lawn, 3) the Kaufman Memorial Garden is an extremely beautiful, peaceful, and solitary place to whittle away the hours nearby(the kids loved the fountains and shoots of water that chased them through the foliage...I loved the thought of returning there without any kids to sit in peace).

http://www.powellgardens.org/default.asp?page=KauffmanMap#VisitorInfo

July also offered a camping trip with Anika's and Andrea's families...lots of work, but fun! Camping and floating with 9 kids is a challenge, but we made it! Here Emma and Jack enjoy their S'mores.

This pic is a rarity for sure...all four sound asleep, and in the middle of the day! The floating and camping exhausted us all. The six man tent that Jason got was a hit...I enjoyed the cabin with my sisters (except we got stuck with the 2 year-olds as usual).

The float was really nice..I've never gone on a float trip believe it or not. It was beautiful and peaceful. Sam was my canoe partner most of the way, and I must say....that boy can paddle! He looked like Merriweather Lewis (or maybe what's-his-name Clark) at the front of our canoe scouting for wildlife or examining the terrain, with his paddle slowly, but steadily, dipping into the quiet water...a very quaint scene from the back of the boat. He was surprised that his momma could maneuver us out of some swift current and actually was impressed by my amateur canoeing skills.

No summer is complete without a trip to Fritz's Railroad Restaurant, where the food is questionable, but the atmosphere is fascinating and helps you overcome the doubts in your mind about what you are putting in your mouth! As usual, the boys loved to watch the trains deliver their food and were all smiles for an entire hour. Afterwards, we headed to the chaos in Kaleidoscope, where we tried to do some art amidst the hundreds of kids in there :)

We also made it to the Lego exhibit in Crown Center, where there were fabulous displays of some guy's Lego art. The kids built with bricks and we marveled at the creations. Lydia almost pushed over a display that was a 7-foot tall pencil made of thousands of Lego's...thus, time to exit before disaster!

Upstairs we found a sweet Chinese lady who has a shop of imported Chinese tea (directly from their family farm in north-central China, she informed me) and jade jewelry. She and Lydia chatted about their Chinese names while I scoped out a cool Jade medallion....again, time to leave when the boys started wrestling around the displays of necklaces and teapots (images of bright green shards of broken jade and shattered Terra Cotta pots on the floor prompts one to leave in a hurry!)

One final destination in the last couple of weeks of July, was our trip to Science City and the Narnia exhibit at Union Station....I really love that place. Science City is somewhat lame once you've been there before, but I could sit in the old train station forever, staring up at that beautiful ceiling and imagining the place packed with the bustle of travelers lugging their bags several decades ago. So much history floats around in there that you can almost feel that energy embedded in the tiles and spiraling through the dome and archways. We enjoyed a little greasy lunch in the diner (also with grand tall ceilings and oozing with a past). The Narnia exhibit was awesome (no pics allowed) and left us with a feeling that we had actually met Aslan the Lion and talked with Peter and Lucy :)))

Overall, July was packed and filled with fun...I won't discuss here the trials and traumas...as that is the type of junk that should be pondered and then dismissed (or shoved) to the deep corners of the gray matter....so what remains? The happy images of my kids laughing, creating, imagining, pondering, and learning; and THAT, my friends is what we did this summer.

The Value of Earning Money...Not Just a Handout

Today I smiled as I handed each older boy $21. Why would I smile at that? Well, they are slowly, but clearly, starting to learn the value (and payoff) of hard work. And I'm beginning to learn that they are VERY capable!

I am kind of against "allowance." That may sound stingy, or mean, or whatever....but the idea of just handing someone money, without making them lift a finger just doesn't sit right. Even a toddler can pick up toys off the floor to earn a few cents--it's not hard. So, why reward a child with money for doing nothing? There are some things in our house that are just expected; throw your stinky clothes down the laundry chute (no, you don't get money for that), put your soggy cereal bowl in the sink (again, no, you don't get cash). Now, however, the boys are getting quite capable of helping around the house...doing things that I consider "extra work." The type of thing that goes above and beyond daily living. And I will gladly pay them to do it, because that takes the work-load off of me!

I am happy to say that I now have a CLEAN white vinyl fence! When we installed that type of fencing, I knew that it would require some kind of maintenance (nothing is truly maintenance-free). It has been nearly five years and has never been scrubbed....SO, I offered the boys $1 per panel to scrub it. Sam quickly counted all of the panels and calculated that if they worked together, they would EACH have $21! THIS deal was worth it to them, as they now have "optional desirables" that they wish to purchase.

The chore was put off for awhile, but one evening Jason had them set up with soapy water and scrub brushes. After the first panel, they whined, they complained, they belly-ached. They even ditched the project for the evening. But that night, I heard them in bed planning and scheming what to do with their tons of money. By the next morning, they were refreshed and set to work scrubbing the ENTIRE fenced-off backyard---42, four-foot panels! That's ALOT of fence! They stayed out there all morning, scrubbing away, eventually finding a rhythm and easier way of accomplishing the chore. It was really neat to watch them work so hard, like 2 little Tom Sawyers painting the fence....all because they wanted to EARN that money.

The fence is clean (and maybe not as good as we adults could have done); but nonetheless, the chore was complete from beginning to end and the $42 was gladly handed over. Yea, new workers around my house! And, they are learning the value and rewards of hard work...no work, no pay :) Last night they grilled the burgers from start to finish...no pay, BUT they are proud that they can finally help out with adult-type tasks. This is going to be nice for a weary momma :)))

Now, wonder how much $$ will motivate them to weed the flowerbeds. And I wonder when they can start mowing? maybe painting? I think for now I'll stick with chores that don't involve sharp blades and are mostly "error-free" :)))

The Lake and Spa Shiki

For the first time ever, my sisters and I are all grown up enough to get to spend a weekend away together---no husbands, no kids, just us. With the only schedule to worry about...our spa appointments :)

My older sister was wise this year in asking for a special Mother's Day gift...a weekend away with her sisters. So, thank you to my bro-in-law Bryant for our treat to the Lodge of Four Seasons at the Lake!

It was heavenly to sleep in until 9, not worry about cleaning up soggy cereal bowls, nor worry about anyone at all---except ourselves! Fruity drinks were enjoyed by the pool (no splashing kids), we read the paper (I mean actually READ the paper!), browsed magazines (not Parent either), generated a list of our life's wishes, laughed, shared secrets, and dined on crab stuffed filet. Fun, yummy, and serene!

And Spa Shiki !!! Puffy white robes, cold citrus eye masks, rosemary infused face cloths, and the dry sauna---heaven! Good thing it is considered a "day spa" because we basically stayed there all day! Bryant treated us each to an hour massage and Pedi.

http://www.spashiki.com/

Wouldn't you know, I got the guy massage therapist...First my sisters laughed with relief because they didn't get him. Then they were jealous because I got the better massage...hee hee :) Geez, I think that is so awkward (and Jason was not too happy to hear about it).

The only other massage I've had was in China. A tiny Chinese girl who totally put me to sleep on the table...$26 for an hour :) This was a bit different---no Chinese girl, instead a strong guy, intent on whipping my muscles into shape. To my surprise, it wasn't as awkward as I thought, but instead refreshing and PAINFUL! I guess once you've had your Ob doc chatting away while he stitches you up in strange places, there is nothing embarrassing anymore. So, this guy burying his fingers into my shoulder muscles was no big deal. Very professional and informative.

He started by telling me that my back was a mess, that my spine muscles were tight as a spring, and "I think you should go for the Deep Tissue massage instead of the regular Swedish...it's only $20 bucks more." Really? Upgrade? If you say so, go for it (thanks again bro-in-law!)

By the end, I was about crying and almost yelped out in pain a couple of times. My muscles were so tight from schlepping kids around and burying stress for the past 10 years....painful! I lay there hoping that I wouldn't scream and imagined circle-shape bruises all over my body from his fingers smashing into my skin. I feared that I would look like a Dalmatian when I came out of there! It was definitely NOT relaxing, but I really did need it and could just imagine the toxins being smooshed out with every jab.

More importantly than Spa Shiki Guy brutalizing my skin and deep tissue, was that he offered out some really helpful advice for some symptoms that I'd been having. In fact, just by feeling my spine and neck, he could predict a host of minor ailments that I was having...creepy! Jaw pain, lower back pain, hormonal/emotional wackiness, stress of being responsible for five other people besides myself.... In between prodding, he says "Oh yeah, all that is caused by you being out of alignment...a good chiropractor is what you need and you'll feel good as new...able to take on anybody's crap with a smile" REALLY?? Sign me up!

Next post....my new obsession with my Chiropractor (well, not him personally) but his adjustments, acupuncture, and all that other alternative stuff---so cool! Thanks to my Sister's Weekend and Spa Shiki, I am refreshed and on the road to feeling normal...OK, somewhat normal, at least for awhile anyway :)

Now, to find a Day Spa here in Kansas City to keep the stress at bay---my new staple for mental health. Accupuncture and white puffy robes once a month anyone?