Lydia stopped long enough for a photo this morning...all it took was for me to style her hair and tell her how pretty she is. Any girlie is ready for a pic after that! :)
After pondering that point, isn't that what all girls want...to be told they are pretty, and often? And, if that is so, why are guys such slobs in noticing and attempting to offer some genuine compliments??
Lydia LOVES to call attention to herself when she has on pretty clothes or her hair done...she will seek out any of the four guys in the house and say,
"See? see my hair? Mommy did my hair" or "Look my clothes!"
Typically, the male brains around here are fixated on some other topic and ignore her.
"Psst!" I hiss, "She's talking to you ___! Tell her she looks pretty," I whisper, as they stare obliviously into a book or leap around on the couch.
"What?" they reply, "Oh, yeah Lydi you look pretty..." and then return to their fascination du jour.
She scampers off, smiling happily that someone "noticed". I, on the other hand, sigh at the scene--ugh, so wrong! Can anything be done?!
NOTE: This post is not meant to bash my guys; just a friendly female observation :) In fact, I do know someone who is perfectly observant to beauty and is always full of compliments and sincerity....my Dad :)
It's the same scenario at our house! I don't think there is much that can be done since it's just the way that males seemed to be wired.
ReplyDeleteI think with the little men, it's all about what they are used to. In other words, at least at our house, we really didn't go out of our way as much to make them model themselves in front of family members looking for a "you look really handsome!" I mean, sure, there are the little-man Easter suit days and school picture day, of course but for the most part, on just a non-descript day, we never really looked for any kudos in the appearance department. Is it because they aren't wired to get validation from it? Or, is it our unconscious way of defining gender roles? Who knows.
For the boys, it seems we focused more on getting feedback on a well-played game, or a job well done on some artwork or reading assignment. That's where they would draw their puffy chests - and they, in turn, ubconsciously assume that others do too! They could leave the "handsome" comments anyday.
So, my point (eventhough quite long) is there are definitely distinct, innate differences in males and females and when you're a mother of both, you can really see them from an early age. I guess the best we can do is raise the best little, well-adjusted, well-rounded, men and women we can!
Don't worry, they'll get a little better at the compliments in a few years when a girl, not their sister, is the object of their attention (when there's a little something in it for them)!
Our dad was actually pretty good about telling us we were pretty, too. I had a hard time believing him, especially during my mullet stage, but he was quite convincing.
ReplyDeleteYes, I will agree. Your Dad is very full of sincere compliments! So, the concensus so far, Dads are good at giving beauty compliments...there is nothing "in it for them" besides making their daughter feel good. Brothers won't give compliments unless prompted. As guys get older and are attracted to someone, they'll toss out the compliments unasked---usually for some affection in return. And husbands?? We need more input on that one :)
ReplyDeleteI agree too - my Uncle John has always been full of compliments - even during MY mullet phase. :-)
ReplyDeleteOh - and no need for your added "note". I know your boys are precious! I didn't take your post as a dig at them at all!
Sounds like we have the sociology of the male compliment figured out! (almost) LOL