A Little Girl Makes Five

The first pic I saw of Vivian...I fell in love with her quiet, sweet spirit.  Oct, 2012

For the past 14 months, I have been able to say "I have 5 kids"!  I find that statement very shocking and scary, but also quite exciting and humbling.  Children are such a gift and I do not feel worthy to have this gift five times over.  I never imagined that we would be on the journey of adoption again, but here we are!  

Over the past months, we have waited (impatiently) for the arrival of our fifth child.  The entire time, I should have been putting the process into journal form.  But along with this process has been so much heartache, struggle, and frustration that I just did not want to put out into words.  I believe that words are energy and putting negative words out there draws negativity all around you.  If you want to attract positive things into your life, one must be willing and intent to see the world in a positive way, and put out loving and kind thoughts/words.  This has been such a challenge for me in 2013.  But, I have purposed to work on transforming my mind into more positive thinking patterns and surround myself with a higher energy.  This is SUPER hard, but what I have found to be most helpful, is to avoid as much negativity as possible.  With that in mind....because much of this adoption process has been one frustration and struggle after another, I could not bear to write such negativity into this blog and put that out into the minds of others that read it.  

One of the first pics we saw of Vivian, Oct 2012

So, here is a post of the wonderful loving outcome that has resulted from this struggle....that a little girl will no longer be an orphan, that she will no longer suffer loneliness and have an empty Mommy-hole in her heart, that she will receive the medical care that she needs to thrive, and that she will be given the ideas and tools she needs to fulfill her life purpose.  For me, it means...that a Mommy is able to give her daughter a little sister to love, that she can give her kids an example of how to love and take care of people, and that she sees in her husband a man who is willing to do things that are way outside of his comfort zone just because he loves her.  

Vivian playing with her friends, March 2013

Now begins the chronicle of the positives that have now arrived...

Miss Vivian Gwen Caifang 

will be in my arms one week from tomorrow!  

This little one captured my heart over a year ago, and finally we are able to bring her home.  The wait has been long; knowing that your child is somewhere on the other side of the Earth without your guidance and protection is so difficult.  But, just like the last adoption, I am forced to rely on divine trust and faith.  When in this position, that's really all you have to keep from being sad all the time. One more week...God, keep her safe and strong until we get there...prepare her heart for the trauma of being pulled from her familiar surroundings...fill me with patience and love to help heal her heart.  Most of all, help her to love me and to accept my love....it seems such a simple thing, but for a 3 year-old orphan, it is often a scary painful journey.

July, 2013

Getting Techie

Posting from the phone! Great for our upcoming trip to bring home sweet Vivian.  I haven't updated the blog in nearly 2 years.  I guess it's time to get life chronicled again.  Hoping to rid myself of the anxiety and pressure to post things consistently, and instead just enjoy the writing process.

Tempus Fugit....

Hours turn into days and then into months and before I realize it, my adventurous self is carrying me away without time left to savor the moments....plainly stated...my journaling has been neglected! It is both passion and fear that makes me write again, a passion and obsession for the written word and fear that I will lose my memories if I don't write them down.

I’m not quite sure how to re-enter the blogosphere after taking a hiatus for nearly 18 months. The perfectionist in me requires that I go back and chronicle each month from the time I left off, expanding on memories and blog-able thoughts that I’ve had lingering in the hippocampus. Other more reasonable opinions (i.e. from normal people) suggest that I should just write one big post, highlighting all of the major moments. While that makes a lot of sense, I just can’t do it.

My biggest regret is that I have lost some of the amazing thoughts and snippets of funny language that my younglings have offered over the past months. My intentions are there. I hear something and scramble for the nearest writing utensil to capture the essence of their opinion or the power of their love. But, the scraps of paper with scribbles of memories accumulating in my purse, on my desk, and tucked away in boxes are much too numerous to go through, making my super-fantastical blog ideas go lame. Because this blog is truly for them, when I come across some child’s especially luscious words while de-cluttering my personal space, I will work diligently to include them.

After all, “We write to taste life twice. In the moment and in retrospection” ~ Anais Nin. Writing reflects the mind and soul, connecting our perspective and inner self with the silent minds of others. When else can you have a conversation with someone, without uttering a spoken word?

So, here begins the process catching up on my life. Scroll down and click around for the most recent back-dated posts…hey, isn’t that an oxymoron? Attempting to halt the "tempus fugit" or "time that flies."

Adoption Day

On this date in 2007, the most beautiful little girl in the world joined our life. Today is the day Lydia found her forever family :)

Three years later, I couldn't imagine my life without her. She loves life and is joyful beyond measure. She has more intrigue and energy than all of our boys put together and she is exactly what I needed to make my Mommy life complete.

Tonight I sang her little song about how we went around the world to find her, and this is what is on her mind at age 4.

Lydia: "What does my China Mommy do now...because I'm here with you?"
Me: "She misses you very much.....Your China Mommy loved you so much. She knew she would have a hard time taking care of you, so she helped us find you."

Eeek! These bedtime conversations happen more often as Lydia gets older. It gets tougher with every question, making sure that I say exactly what she needs to hear at this point in her life. It is so very hard. Heavy stuff for a little person. Praying that I'm giving her the answers that will help heal her heart and make her stronger and confident in who she is and how God designed her life. Most importantly, I want her to see how God has the power and will to take a tough situation and, in His perfection, make it all right and exactly as it should be.

November 2010 Highlights



a devoted football fan



2 other devoted fans

Lydia with her Fuling sisters at dance class

Ben brings home the Kindergarten class mascot

Aunt Anika and Uncle Bryant at the Christmas Parade

Halloween 2010



Sam



Jack



Ben



Lydia

Lydia's Golden Birthday: 10/10/10

Age 4

Sweet, sweet girl...

a jade bracelet from China

September 2010 Highlights

Lydia's first day of preschool

Jack's first football game

Jack turns 8!



a box of cash is always nice



Lydia and Grandma watching the boys play football

The Youngest Kemper Sister Gets Married

 A few highlights from our trip to Minnesota to see Jason's baby sister get married.  Congratulations Ashley and Jay!  Twas a beautiful and fun weekend....

The hotel pool and hot tub are always a hit

Jason serves as the quiet, brotherly groomsman. 

Pretty flower girl!

The bribes were in full force to get this little man to participate in the wedding.  A ring bearer can be bribed with a Wii game almost anytime!

Complete exhaustion.  After a couple of hours getting her groove on, we found this little
peach sprawled out on a sofa :)

Football and Dance



Let the dance performances begin!  Lydia's Chinese dance group performing at the Ethnic Festival in KC



Pop Warner football this year for both of the boys.  Practice for each of them 2-3 nights
a week and games on Saturday.  Don't know if I will survive.  Sam's team is large and
already well established (meaning he doesn't get much playing time) BUT, his
coach does appreciate his catching abilities, speed, and strange skill at knowing where the
gaps will be.  He's a head shorter than the other boys and gets smashed all over the place
but he's tough!  Don't know if he'll play next year.....

Sam's mouthpiece is almost bigger than his head!

Dad's backyard football drills are tough!

Benjamin trying to keep up with the older boys



Graceful Butterfly



Sam and I attend a summer camp designed for kids on the autism spectrum, where he camps alongside the kids as a peer model.  He is so compassionate and accepts people just as they are, so he make is a great support for these kids.  He is nervous there, but has found growth in his own life as he works to try new things and learn independence alongside the campers.  As our little scientist, here he examines "owl pellets" and found tiny bones, etc. 

Sam and a camper friend learn from a juggler on the carvinal night.

Dad and the boys found a funny video on YouTube.

Lydia in her new (bigger) room....a girl needs more space for all of her treasures!

Pyros and Kittens

What a strange 4th of July combination...pyromanics and kittens? Luckily for grandma's new kitties, they have learned how to climb trees to avoid explosions!

Summer Fun