Jack's Eyes: On the Road to Answers, Literally

When I was little, I used to imagine that the Earth was like a game board and we were the little playing pieces. I would picture God with the board all spread out, towering over it and reaching down with huge hands---adding this, removing that, adding people, moving people, or removing them...maybe swirling the oceans with his finger, just for fun. Sometimes, I even imagined Him swiping away the naughty people, or creating terrible scenes to make things interesting.

I know that sounds somewhat irreverent, but I don't mean it that way. Of course, I know that God doesn't manipulate us, torture us, or "wreck havoc" on our lives just for fun. But as a child, I truly felt sometimes that I was a game piece...things happening in my life that I couldn't control, and my job was to just do my part and "play the game." There is something about that image of God hovering over my experiences that always gave me some kind of comfort, creating a child-like picture of how He knows everything that is happening, can see it all, and is actually in control of it all.

This is no game of chance or strategy, though...it is my life, and at this point it is full of events that are beyond my control. Events that remind me again that my role is to play my part. I'm starting to feel again like a little game piece floating from place to place on the board.

To stick with the metaphor, the wheel on the Life game has spun and we have landed on the "your child is ill" space. Or to be more specific, "your 7 year-old can't see, go straight to the doctor." The next space we landed on read, "your doctor is getting you nowhere, find another doctor." The next space indicated, "you find a good doctor and beg them to see your child, pay $$$ in bribery fees" (just kidding). Next, "doctor sees your child, prepare for a long journey to Detroit" The next space is where we are currently, "wait here..."

So, this is where we are, waiting. In real terms, this is what we know. Jack has had blurry vision in only one eye since Sept-ish. Our Opthamologist referred us to a Retina Specialist, who was baffled and really didn't "listen" and concluded..."come back to see me in a month"...I really don't like that response. In the end, we had to ditch him...his practice was horribly swamped and he didn't really specialize in pediatrics. Finally found an outstanding pediatric doc (who is also a Professor at UMKC) who squeezed us in for an appt (after much pleading and stating our case).

Results....doc was very attentive and concerned. He saw a cyst on the retina of the good eye, which is interesting, because that eye sees clearly. And they are still uncertain of the bad eye, because the vision in that eye fluctuates from very poor to okay. SO, shock of shock, the doc is sending us to Detroit to a Retina Center to see specialists there. They want to determine the etiology of the haze in the retina of the blurry eye and determine if the "cyst" needs to be removed from the retina of the good eye.

We travel to Detroit from Feb 8-12, with possible surgery on the 10th. Flying is out, because you can't fly after eye surgery and our schedule may fluctuate...must drive...ugh! I'm voting to rent a huge 4x4 tank-like thing, maybe a Hummer (Michigan in February!). Jack's vote..."We are renting a car? Alright! Let's get a Mustang!" Sweet boy, we aren't going for the muscle-car cool factor, but a tough beast that will get us there and back... :)

I keep trying to convince myself that this is probably no big deal, maybe they will find nothing---that's what you want, right? But, the rational part of my brain knows that Dr's. don't just send you 700 miles away for "nothing." There must be "something." And, I do hope that we come home with some answers.

Sorry for the delay in the info, family...I know you have been wanting more details. This is all we know for now...will keep you posted. Pray for answers, successful procedures (if needed) and that I will be a strong Mommy....this part of the game is not fun.